Am I an idiot for turning down a 100k job?

 

I have a remote job offer that I already accepted for $75k. It's not in SDE, which is my real interest, but I interned there and it seems like a pretty easy job (can be good or boring).

I've continued interviewing and was offered an SDE job for $100k. The problem is that it requires me to move to a city with a much higher COL. I estimate that the increase in housing alone would bring my pay down to around 85k-90k. It's also fully in-person.

I personally think 10-15k isn't worth it for having to move AND being fully in person, but some of my friends and family I've talked about it with act like I'm crazy for turning it down. Are they right?

Edit: Adding more details to the comparison:

$75k job:

• 8% 401k match

• 6 weeks of vacation

• Almost fully remote (in-person training/seminars here and there)

$100k job:

• 3% 401k match

• ~$85k-90k before taxes but after expenses

• 2 weeks of vacation

• Fully in-person

• Required to move

• Much higher COL

• Associated expenses with being fully in-person (commute time, gas, and wear-and-tear)

JobAdvisor:

If your goal is to become a software engineer, it's not a good idea to turn down a $100k SDE job for a $75k non-SDE job. You might not come out ahead financially but SDE experience will be much more valuable on your resume.