What makes people happy? The truth is that people can spend their entire lives trying to find the answer to that question. Furthermore, many attempts to buy their happiness with material possessions, as well as seek out other elusive things to try to make them happy. However, what actually makes most people happiest in life has nothing to do with money, things, or even personal circumstances. Instead, true happiness comes from within you — regardless of how much or how little you have in terms of wealth and material possessions. In short, here are the unofficial rules for a happy life.
1. Make Peace with Your Past
The first rule to follow to live a happy life is to not allow your past to keep you from being happy — especially if it’s full of unpleasant memories that make you miserable when you think about them. Learn to let go of those unpleasant memories. Learn to forgive others who have wronged you in the past. Even if they don’t deserve forgiveness, forgive them for the sake of your own future happiness. You’ll never be happy in the future as long as you refuse to make peace with your past.
2. Stop Worrying About What Others Think of You
You’ll never be very happy in life as long as you worry about what others are thinking about you. This is especially true if you’re a people-pleaser who is more concerned about making those around you happy instead of yourself. The truth is that there are certain people who will never be happy, no matter how hard you try to please them. Furthermore, you shouldn’t care/worry about what others think about you. It’s your life! Make the decisions that are best for you instead of trying to make decisions based on the opinions of others. If you stop and think about it, do most people you know really care that much about what you think of them — especially when it comes to their own happiness?
3. You Are the Only Person in Charge of Your Happiness
There’s only one person in the world who’s responsible for your happiness — and that’s you! Just like you can’t spend your life trying to make others happy, you can’t expect others to be responsible for your happiness either. You must make a conscious effort each morning to remind yourself that you aren’t going to let anyone — nor any potentially unpleasant circumstances — put you in a bad mood. You must learn to take things — especially unpleasant things — in your stride. Furthermore, you’re responsible for setting and achieving goals that can help you attain the success and happiness you want in life.
4. Stop Comparing Your Life to Others
One of the biggest reasons that so many people are unhappy is that they compare their life to the life of someone else who they perceive to have a better or happier life. The reality is that you don’t know how happy or unhappy someone else truly is based on how things might appear to you. Think about that expression, “You can’t really understand someone else until you walk a mile in their shoes.” Well, the same can be said when it comes to judging the true ‘happiness’ of someone else. You honestly just don’t know. Therefore, you should focus more on your own life and how you can improve it, instead of trying to compare yourself to others.
5. Time Heals (Almost) All Wounds
You’re likely familiar with the old saying, “Time heals all wounds.” There’s actually a lot of truth to that expression. As time goes by, many of your painful memories will start to feel less painful. You’ll likely find it easier to forgive others who might have wronged you. Time can also help heal a broken heart from a failed relationship. You might even be able to make up with a friend or family member that you had a falling out with.
6. Don’t Be Unhappy When You Don’t Have All the Answers
No one has all the answers in life — even the most brilliant people in the world. Therefore, when you encounter a problem without an immediate, clear-cut solution, don’t let it make you unhappy. However, that doesn’t mean that you must go through life without solving major problems that you encounter. Instead, you should learn where to find the answers when you don’t know them. For example, let’s say that you’re a new entrepreneur. You’ll likely encounter many questions running your business that you won’t know the answer to. By seeking out a mentor — someone with a lot of business experience — you can find someone who will likely know the answers to many of the questions you might have about your new business.
7. Don’t Try to Own/Solve All of the World’s Problems
Finally, just like you won’t be able to solve every problem that comes into your life, you should definitely not expect to be able to solve everyone else’s problems either. Remember, the world is an imperfect and often unfair place. While it’s natural to feel sad when you see others struggle — especially when you really want to help them — you can’t let it rob you of your own happiness. You must understand that there will always be sad or unjust things that happen to those you love. The truly happiest people in life are able to see the good in things, as well as help those around them see the good in their own lives.
In short, the old saying that, “money can’t buy happiness” is true. True happiness is about learning to find contentment in your life. You must learn to let go of bitter feelings that make you unhappy. Forgive those who have wronged you in the past, so that you can enjoy a happier future. Don’t live for making others happy, and don’t expect others to live for making you happy either.