Most people feel unbalanced as they experience change. When what is most important to you is shifting, your brain may see the change as risky. Add an unstable economy and career uncertainty to a shift in values and life can feel unhinged.
When Your Values Change
It is not uncommon for values to change in priority over time. Events such as the pandemic and the multitude of experiences that come with age will change your perspective on what you hold most dear.As I age, activities that improve my health hold more value. Since I have no children and my parents have died, my value for the family has weakened and my value for friendship has increased. These days, my desire to learn and share what I discover is greater. I have even found ways to enjoy teaching classes via Zoom.
If you are feeling a little unsettled about the meaning and direction of your life and career, it is a good time to examine what you see as most meaningful and important. However, it is difficult to examine thoughts without falling into the “worst-case scenario” traps. A coach can help you explore what you want while keeping your protective brain at bay.
Three Questions to Explore With a Coach
Your happiness depends on you getting what is most important to you. Here’s a list of values to help you determine what you need to feel happy. Explore these questions with a coach:- What desires are changing in your personal world? Are you finding more happiness in helping others? Are you appreciating your adaptability? Have desires for more spirituality, community, nature, or fun emerged? What are you craving more time for now?
- What do you now want to get from your work? Do you want more opportunities to learn and grow, more satisfying teamwork, or increased opportunities for your voice to be heard? Maybe you want a greater sense of security or significance. Would you love more time to be innovative?
- Which values are growing in strength and which ones are receding? Do you think this shift will cause a conflict of values in your work and career desires? Will the people you care about think you should want something else? Will you be able to find a compromise? If not, what needs to change?
About 15 years ago I was struggling with a shift in career direction. My coach asked, "What would you do differently if you knew the answers to your questions would emerge if you let them?"
But how could I just sit back and let things happen? Doubtful but willing, I set a goal to breathe and release my anxiety when it rose for the next week. After a few days, I discovered I wasn't giving up. I found peace with not knowing. Instead of worrying, I spent my days doing what I most loved and being grateful for the life I had lived so far.
I soon realized my life’s work was unfolding exactly as it should and it matched what I believed was most important. There was nothing else I needed to do.
Coaches can help you see through the fog of fear. They are skilled at helping us see beyond our stories and beliefs to discover what is possible.