Anna North, senior correspondent at Vox, explores the phenomenon of “dry texting,” a subtle shift in texting tone that signals disinterest or conflict among teens. This can include brief replies, lowercase messages instead of all caps, or leaving texts unread. For many teenagers, such as those co-hosting the Behind the Screens podcast, dry texting is a common way to express frustration or signal that someone is upset, often without direct confrontation.
Phones as Tools for Avoiding Conflict
While adults often view phones as sources of conflict among youth, teens reveal that mobile devices sometimes help them avoid face-to-face disputes. Instead of open arguments, teens use ambiguous signals-like muting conversations, unfollowing on social media, or sending “dry” replies-to sidestep uncomfortable interactions. This indirect communication, however, can create confusion and anxiety, as recipients struggle to interpret whether the sender is angry, upset, or simply distracted.
The Anxiety of Ambiguous Signals
Experts like Claire Weinstein from the Center for Digital Thriving explain that these subtle digital cues-such as being left on read or half-sent Snapchats-can lead teens to overthink and worry about their social standing. This uncertainty often feels worse than a direct confrontation. For example, one teen shared feeling hurt after being removed from a group chat without explanation, highlighting how ambiguous digital actions can cause emotional distress.
Developing Conflict Resolution Skills in a Digital Era
Adolescence is a critical time for learning how to handle disagreements, but the rise of digital communication complicates this process. Psychologist Darja Djordjevic emphasizes that face-to-face conflict resolution is essential for healthy development, and relying on texting may limit these opportunities. However, some teens find that texting allows them more time to think and express themselves clearly, sometimes making difficult conversations easier to start.
Navigating Social Nuances and Safety
Teens also recognize that avoiding direct conflict through digital means isn’t always negative, especially in environments where physical confrontations are a risk. Ambiguous texting can serve as a protective mechanism. Still, young people need guidance and tools to manage both overt and subtle conflicts effectively.
Advice from Teens
Many teens suggest returning to low-tech solutions, like in-person conversation,s to resolve misunderstandings. As 12-year-old Evy puts it, “Having a genuine conversation and sharing a laugh makes everything feel so much better.”