Received an offer on Friday - feeling survivors guilt

Been unemployed for two years now. One year of hardcore searching with no luck and another year of SQA boot camp. The stars aligned for me and I was connected with a friend of a family friend who was looking to fill a contract position, great pay, fully remote, good company. I’m definitely not the most qualified for the position but I guess I did stellar on the interviews and quote everyone loved me so I got the offer over a ton of great potential candidates. I can’t help but feel a bit bad about it though. The fact that I had a somewhat personal connection to the manager is 100% what got me to the top of the resume pile and it feels like I cheated in a way. I know that’s just how it goes and I was on the other side cold applying with no results while jobs were going away to friends and family. I have to take this opportunity and run with it but it’s definitely bittersweet. I know a lot of people would kill to have that chance and I’m not trying to say woe is me or anything. Just sharing my thoughts and how I feel about it. Has anyone else ever felt the same?

Jobadvisor

It's completely normal to feel a mix of emotions after landing a job, especially after a long period of unemployment and when a personal connection played a role. What you're experiencing sounds a lot like imposter syndrome mixed with a touch of survivor's guilt.

Many people feel this way when they get a big break, whether it's through a connection or not. The truth is, networking is a fundamental part of job searching. While your connection might have gotten your resume to the top, it was your performance in the interviews that sealed the deal. They "loved you" and you "did stellar" – that's not cheating, that's you proving your worth and potential.

Think of it this way: the connection opened the door, but you walked through it and impressed them. You earned this offer. This isn't about taking something away from others; it's about seizing an opportunity that presented itself. You've been through two years of tough times, and now it's your turn.

Many people have felt similar emotions. It's a common experience to question whether you truly deserve something good, especially after a period of struggle. However, don't let these feelings overshadow your achievement. This is a chance to grow, learn, and contribute.

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What to do with these feelings:

• Acknowledge them: It's okay to feel what you're feeling. Don't try to suppress it.
• Reframe your perspective: Instead of "I cheated," think "My hard work and persistence, combined with a valuable connection, led to this opportunity."
• Focus on the positive: You're employed, you're remote, the pay is good, and it's a good company. These are all huge wins!
• Pay it forward (when you can): Once you're settled, if you ever have the chance to help someone else in their job search, you'll know how impactful even a small connection can be.

This feeling of "bittersweetness" will likely fade as you settle into your new role and realize you are indeed capable and contributing. Congratulations on this fantastic offer – you absolutely deserve to celebrate it!

What career to pursue when coming from a low income family?

To everyone who comes from a poor background: How did you find your “dream job” or at least a job that feels okay for you? I also come from a low-income background, and one of my biggest goals is to be able to support my dad financially when he retires.

That’s why the advice to follow your passion doesn’t really work in my case. I need a stable, well-paying job. My interests lie in fields like social sciences and history, but I’m aware that these don’t usually lead to high-paying careers.

I’ve accepted that I probably won’t live the best fullfilling life, but I still want one that’s at least somewhat okay where i literally don't have to slave away myself.

Do you have any advice or personal experiences to share? What kind of jobs should I consider? How did you find your Job?

Jobadvisor

It's completely understandable that your priority is financial stability and supporting your family, especially your dad's retirement. Many people share your perspective that "follow your passion" isn't always practical advice, especially when financial security is a pressing need. It's admirable that you're thinking so proactively about your future and your family's well-being.

Here's some advice and considerations, drawing from common experiences and strategies for building a stable, well-paying career from a low-income background, while also trying to find a degree of satisfaction:

Strategies for Finding a Stable, Well-Paying Job

Prioritize In-Demand Fields with Clear Career Paths:

Healthcare: Even without becoming a doctor, many roles offer excellent pay and stability. Consider:

Nursing (RN, BSN): High demand, good salaries, and various specialties. You can start with an Associate's Degree (ADN) and work while pursuing your Bachelor's (BSN).

Medical Technologist/Clinical Lab Scientist: Work in labs, good pay, stable.

Radiologic Technologist: Operates imaging equipment.

Dental Hygienist: Good pay for a two-year degree.

Physical Therapy Assistant/Occupational Therapy Assistant: Two-year degrees with good job prospects.

Technology/IT: This is a vast field with many entry points and high earning potential.

Software Development/Engineering: Requires analytical thinking, but bootcamps and online resources can help.

Data Analysis/Science: Growing field, combines analytical skills with technology.

Cybersecurity: High demand and good pay as threats increase.

IT Support/Network Administration: Can be entry points with good progression.

Skilled Trades: Don't underestimate these. They often require less formal education, can be very well-paying, and are always in demand.

Electrician

Plumber

HVAC Technician

Welder

Machinist

Finance/Accounting:

Accountant: Stable, good pay, essential for all businesses.

Financial Analyst: Requires strong analytical and quantitative skills.

Focus on Skills, Not Just Degrees:

Many high-paying jobs value demonstrable skills more than a specific liberal arts degree. Look into certifications, bootcamps, and apprenticeships.

For example, in IT, certifications from CompTIA, Cisco, or Microsoft can open doors even without a traditional computer science degree.

Learn to market your transferable skills (critical thinking, research, communication) from your social sciences/history interests.

Leverage Your Interests (Even if Not Directly):

While social sciences and history might not be direct paths to high pay, the skills you develop are highly valuable.

Research & Analysis: This is crucial in data science, market research, policy analysis (even in government roles that pay well), and financial analysis.

Critical Thinking & Problem Solving: Valued in almost every field.

Communication (Written & Verbal): Essential for business, project management, sales, and more.

Consider how you can apply these skills in a more financially lucrative field. For example, a history major could excel in intelligence analysis, legal research, or even technical writing for a tech company if they acquire the technical knowledge.

Consider Education Paths Strategically:

Community College: Start here for associate degrees in high-demand fields (nursing, IT, trades) or to get general education requirements done affordably before transferring to a 4-year university.

Scholarships and Financial Aid: Be relentless in applying for every scholarship, grant, and financial aid program you qualify for. Low-income backgrounds often make you eligible for more support.

Work-Study Programs: If you pursue higher education, look for work-study opportunities to earn money while studying.

Online Courses/Bootcamps: For tech fields, these can be a faster and more affordable alternative to a traditional degree.

Networking and Mentorship:

Connect with people in fields you're considering. LinkedIn is a great tool for this. Informational interviews can provide invaluable insights into a career path.

Seek out mentors who have successfully navigated similar challenges.

Don't Discount Government Jobs:

Many government positions (local, state, federal) offer excellent stability, benefits, and decent pay, even for roles that aren't typically high-profile. They often have clear promotion structures.

Look into administrative roles, analysts (e.g., policy analyst, program analyst), or even roles within agencies related to your interests (e.g., archives, museums, but also more administrative or project management roles within these, or other, agencies).

How Others Found Their Way (Common Themes)

Many people from low-income backgrounds who achieved stability didn't necessarily "follow their passion" initially. Instead, they often:

Prioritized Practicality: They chose fields that had clear job prospects and good earning potential, even if not their first love.

Worked Their Way Up: Started in entry-level positions and gained experience, pursuing further education or certifications as they went.

Developed "Adjacent" Interests: Found ways to incorporate their passions into their free time or later in their careers once financial stability was achieved. For example, a software engineer might volunteer for a historical society or write historical fiction in their spare time.

Embraced "Good Enough": Realized that a fulfilling life isn't just about the job itself, but what the job enables them to do (support family, pursue hobbies, have financial peace). They found satisfaction in the stability and security their job provided.

Learned to Find Meaning in the Work: Even if a job isn't their passion, they focus on doing it well, helping others, or solving problems, which can bring its own sense of satisfaction.

Personal Experience Perspective (Hypothetical but common)

"I grew up in a really tough situation, and 'passion' wasn't a luxury I could afford. My goal was simple: get a job that paid well enough to get my family out of debt and give my parents some peace of mind. I was good at math, but I hated the idea of finance.

So, I looked into what was in demand. Healthcare came up a lot. I decided to pursue nursing. It wasn't my 'dream,' but it was practical. I started with an ADN at a community college, worked as an LPN for a bit, then went back for my BSN while working. It was grueling, but I saw the direct impact of my work, and the pay was good and stable.

Now, I'm a few years in, and while I wouldn't say I 'love' every single shift, I find immense satisfaction in helping people. More importantly, I can pay my parents' mortgage, and they don't have to worry about retirement. That's a huge fulfillment for me. My interest in history is still there; I read a lot, visit museums, and I'm part of a local historical preservation group in my spare time. My job gives me the financial freedom to pursue that interest, which is a different kind of 'fulfilling life' than what I initially imagined."

Actionable Steps for You:

Research In-Demand Fields: Spend time on government labor statistics websites (like the Bureau of Labor Statistics in the US, or similar agencies in your country/region) to identify growing fields with good median salaries.

Explore Educational Pathways: Look into community college programs, vocational schools, and online bootcamps for these in-demand fields.

Information Interviews: Reach out to people working in roles you're considering. Ask them about their day-to-day, what they like/dislike, and how they got there.

Skills Assessment: Honestly assess your aptitudes. Are you good with numbers? Solving technical problems? Working with people? These can guide your choices.

Financial Planning: Start learning about budgeting, saving, and investing. This knowledge will be crucial for supporting your dad and building your own financial future.

You absolutely can build a stable, well-paying career that provides for your family and still allows you to have a good, "somewhat okay" life. It requires strategic thinking, hard work, and often a willingness to prioritize practicality over immediate passion. Your dedication to your dad is a powerful motivator, and that drive will serve you well.

Thinking about quitting at 35 and focusing on my side business - risky?

I've been running a side business for the past 3 years while working my regular 9-5 and it's honestly been doing way better than I expected. Started as just a weekend thing but now it's consistently bringing in about 80% of my main salary and growing every month and this % is growing continuously ever since the business has started.
The numbers are there like I've saved up enough to cover our expenses for at least a year or maybe more if I'm careful. My wife is supportive but understandably nervous about me giving up the steady paycheck and benefits. The business has real potential to scale if I could put my full attention into it instead of squeezing it into evenings and weekends.
But here's what's eating at me, I'm not some 22-year old with nothing to lose anymore. I'm 35, married and we're talking about kids in the next couple years. The comfort from Dollarama feels more important now than it did in my twenties. What if the business fails? What if I can't get back into corporate at the same level? On the flip side, I keep thinking about how much further I could take this thing if it wasn't just my side hustle. The growth potential is really there and honestly I'm way more passionate about this than I've ever been about any corporate role. It's just that the mortgage, future kids, retirement planning all that stuff makes this potential jump dangerous.

Has anyone made the jump from steady employment to full time entrepreneurship in their 30s? How did you know it was the right time? Did you regret not going all in earlier or regret taking the leap?

Jobadvisor

Transitioning from a stable job to full-time entrepreneurship in your mid-30s, especially with a family and future plans, is a significant decision. It's great that you've been thoughtful about the financial aspects and have a supportive partner. Here's a breakdown of considerations and experiences, drawing on common advice and scenarios for people in your situation:

Analyzing Your Situation:

• Financial Preparedness: Having 80% of your salary covered by your side business and a year's worth of expenses saved are strong indicators. This significantly de-risks the jump. The continuous growth is also very positive.
• Wife's Support (and Nerves): It's natural for your wife to be nervous. Open and continuous communication about worst-case scenarios, backup plans, and how you'll manage financial stress will be crucial. Involve her in the detailed planning.
• Growth Potential vs. Risk: You've clearly identified the core dilemma. The passion and potential for scale are powerful motivators. The fear of failure and impact on family are equally valid concerns.

Key Questions to Ask Yourself (and Discuss with Your Wife):

1. Worst-Case Scenario Plan:
   • What if the business revenue drops significantly? How long can you sustain yourselves on savings?
   • What's your plan to re-enter the corporate world if needed? Have you maintained your network? Are your skills current?
   • Would you be willing to take a lower-paying corporate job temporarily if necessary?
2. Health Insurance and Benefits: This is a huge one, especially with kids on the horizon.
   • How will you secure health insurance for your family? What are the costs?
   • Are there any other critical benefits you'd be losing (e.g., life insurance, retirement matching) that you'd need to replace?
3. Business Sustainability and Scalability:
   • What are the key drivers of your business's growth? Are they sustainable?
   • What are the biggest risks to your business? (e.g., new competitors, market shifts, dependency on a few clients).
   • What specifically would you do with the extra time if you went full-time? Have you mapped out a clear strategy for growth and expansion?
   • How diversified is your customer base?
4. Work-Life Balance as an Entrepreneur:
   • While you'd have more control, full-time entrepreneurship often means longer, less predictable hours, especially in the beginning. Are you prepared for that?
   • How will you protect family time?
5. Your "Why":
   • Beyond the money, what truly motivates you to make this leap? Is it autonomy, creative control, impact, or something else? Understanding this will help you weather the inevitable challenges.

Experiences of Others (Common Themes):

• Regret of Not Going Earlier vs. Not Taking the Leap: Many who succeed often say they wish they'd done it sooner, feeling they "wasted" time in corporate. Conversely, those who leap without sufficient preparation or a viable business might regret the financial instability. The sweet spot is often when the business is already proven, as yours seems to be.
• The "Mid-30s Leap": It's increasingly common. People in their 30s often have more experience, a stronger network, and a clearer understanding of their skills and market needs than their younger counterparts. They also tend to be more disciplined. However, the financial stakes are higher.
• No "Right Time," but "Right Conditions": There's rarely a perfect moment. Instead, focus on creating the "right conditions." You've already done much of this by building revenue and savings.
• Phased Approach (What You're Doing Now): This is often recommended. You've essentially been in a "test phase" for three years. This reduces the risk significantly compared to starting from scratch.
• The "Dollarama Comfort": This is a real and valid feeling. It's about security. Acknowledge it, but don't let it paralyze you if the data and your passion point to a different path.

To help you make a more informed decision, consider these next steps:

1. Detailed Financial Projections: Go beyond just current revenue. Project your business revenue and expenses for the next 1-3 years if you went full-time, including potential investments (marketing, new hires, equipment). Create conservative, realistic, and optimistic scenarios.
2. Create a Business Plan: Even if informal, outline your strategies for growth, marketing, operations, and potential challenges. This will solidify your thinking and help address your wife's concerns.
3. Professional Advice:
   • Accountant/Financial Advisor: Discuss tax implications, setting up your business structure, and optimizing your personal finances for the transition.
   • Mentor/Fellow Entrepreneur: Talk to others who have made a similar jump, especially those in your industry or at a similar life stage. They can offer invaluable insights.
4. Trial Period (if possible): This might be difficult if you need to go "all in" for growth, but sometimes a short sabbatical or a period of reduced hours at your current job can give you a taste of full-time entrepreneurship.

In summary:

You're in a strong position because your side business is already generating significant income and showing consistent growth. Your financial cushion is also a major advantage. The risk isn't eliminated, but it's significantly mitigated compared to someone starting cold. The key is to address the remaining unknowns – particularly health insurance, a detailed backup plan, and involving your wife fully in the strategic planning.

Your passion and the growth potential are powerful assets. Many entrepreneurs in their 30s find that their maturity, network, and financial discipline actually make them more likely to succeed. It's not about being 22 with nothing to lose; it's about being 35 with a clear vision, a proven concept, and a plan for managing risk.