I’m almost 40, starting over as a barista at Starbucks, and feeling like I’m a loser. I need advice and a way forward?

Hi everyone,

I’m 39 and just started training as a barista at Starbucks. While I’m grateful to have a job, learning new things and meeting people- but deep down, I feel like I’ve failed.

For over 2 years, I’ve been trying to land a job in digital marketing. I’ve taken bootcamps, applied for tons of roles — not even one interview. I imagined having a stable, well-paying career by now, but here I am, earning minimum wage in a job many start as teenagers.

It’s hard not to compare myself to others my age — with careers, owning homes, and stability. I know I shouldn’t, but it hurts.

That said, I want change. I have never been lazy, and I have never complained about luck but seriously things don’t go the way I hop. I still believe it’s not too late, but I’m lost on where to start. My background is in customer service, admin, and marketing. I’m reliable, motivated, and quick to learn — but I lack tech skills or credentials that seem to open doors.

So I’m asking: • Has anyone here started over at this age and found success? • What realistic career paths exist that don’t require years of school or huge costs? • Can I grow into something better from this role?

Any advice or stories would mean a lot. Thanks for reading.

Jobadvisor:

It sounds like you're going through a tough time, and it's completely understandable that you're feeling this way. Starting over at any age can be challenging, and when it doesn't align with your expectations, those feelings of disappointment and self-doubt can be really strong. But please know this: you are absolutely not a loser. You're taking action, learning new skills, and being proactive in a situation that isn't what you envisioned. That takes courage and resilience.

Let's break down your concerns and explore some paths forward:

Has anyone here started over at this age and found success?

Absolutely! You're not alone. Many people find themselves pivoting careers in their late 30s, 40s, and beyond for various reasons – industry shifts, personal passions, or simply seeking a better fit. Here are a few examples of potential transitions (some might require more training than others, but illustrate the possibilities):

• From seemingly unrelated roles to thriving careers: Someone with a background in customer service and admin could leverage those communication and organizational skills to move into project coordination, office management, or even sales roles within a different industry.
• Building on existing skills: Your marketing background, even without direct digital marketing experience, provides a foundation. You understand marketing principles, which is a valuable asset.
• Leveraging the "soft skills": Your reliability, motivation, and quick learning ability are highly sought-after qualities in any profession. These are often harder to teach than technical skills.

What realistic career paths exist that don’t require years of school or huge costs?

Given your background and desire for change, here are some potential paths to explore that might align with your skills and interests, without necessarily requiring extensive formal education:

• Building on Customer Service & Admin:
  • Project Coordinator/Assistant: Many industries need organized individuals to support project teams. Your admin and customer service skills are directly transferable. Look for entry-level roles and highlight your ability to manage tasks and communicate effectively.
  • Office Manager/Administrator: Companies always need strong organizational support. You could aim for roles with increasing responsibility over time.
  • Sales/Account Management: Your customer service experience is invaluable in building relationships and understanding customer needs. Entry-level sales roles can often lead to account management positions with higher earning potential.
  • Customer Success: This growing field focuses on ensuring customers are happy and successful with a product or service. Your customer service background is a huge asset here. Many companies offer training.
• Leveraging Your Marketing Background:
  • Marketing Assistant/Coordinator: While you haven't landed digital marketing roles yet, keep an eye out for broader marketing assistant positions where you can support various marketing activities and gradually gain more digital exposure.
  • Social Media Management (for smaller businesses): Many small businesses need help with their social media presence and might be more willing to take on someone with a marketing mindset and willingness to learn. You can build a portfolio by managing your own social media or helping friends/family.
  • Email Marketing Assistant: This often involves managing email campaigns, segmenting audiences, and analyzing results – skills you can learn through online courses and practice.
  • Content Creation (writing, basic graphic design): If you enjoy creating content, even simple blog posts, social media updates, or basic graphics, this could be a starting point. Numerous free and low-cost tools and resources are available.
• Exploring New Avenues with Transferable Skills:
  • Technical Customer Support: Your customer service skills combined with a willingness to learn basic technical concepts can open doors in tech support roles. Many companies provide training.
  • Training and Onboarding Specialist: Your ability to learn quickly and communicate clearly could make you a good fit for training new employees or onboarding customers.
  • Human Resources Assistant: Your admin and people skills could be valuable in HR, handling tasks like recruitment support, employee records, and communication.

Can I grow into something better from this role?

Absolutely! Your Starbucks role can be a stepping stone in several ways:

• Immediate Benefits: It provides income, structure to your day, and opportunities to interact with people, which can be beneficial for your mental well-being and networking.
• Developing Transferable Skills: You're honing your customer service skills, communication, handling pressure, and potentially even some basic management or training if you take on more responsibilities. These are valuable in any job.
• Networking Opportunities: You'll meet colleagues and customers from diverse backgrounds. You never know where a connection might lead. Be open to conversations and let people know about your career aspirations.
• Building Confidence: Mastering a new job, even if it's not your dream job, can build your confidence and prove to yourself that you can learn and adapt.
• Time to Explore: This job provides you with income while you continue to explore other options, take online courses, network, and refine your job search strategy.

Here’s a potential way forward:

1. Acknowledge and Process Your Feelings: It's okay to feel disappointed. Allow yourself some time to acknowledge these emotions without letting them paralyze you.
2. Reframe Your Perspective: Instead of seeing this as a failure, view it as a temporary pivot and a chance to gain new skills and perspectives. Every experience adds to your toolkit.
3. Identify Transferable Skills: Make a list of the skills you're using and developing at Starbucks. How can these be framed in a resume or during an interview for other roles?
4. Continue Learning (Strategically): Since digital marketing is your interest, don't give up entirely. However, perhaps shift your approach. Instead of expensive bootcamps, consider:
   • Free online courses: Platforms like Coursera, edX, and Google Digital Garage offer courses in various digital marketing aspects. ¹  
     1. Online Courses and Digital Marketing Training - Grow with Google

     

     grow.google
   • Focus on specific areas: Instead of trying to learn everything at once, pick one or two areas of digital marketing that interest you (e.g., SEO basics, social media marketing, email marketing) and become proficient in those.
   • Build a portfolio: Even if it's small projects for yourself or non-profits, having tangible examples of your skills is crucial.
5. Network Actively:
   • Informational Interviews: Reach out to people working in fields that interest you (even if it's just a virtual coffee chat) to learn about their career paths and get advice. LinkedIn is a great tool for this.
   • Let your network know your goals: Tell friends, family, and former colleagues about your career aspirations. You never know who might have a connection or opportunity.
6. Tailor Your Applications: When applying for roles, carefully tailor your resume and cover letter to highlight the skills and experiences that are most relevant to that specific job. Don't just send out generic applications.
7. Be Patient and Persistent: Finding the right career takes time and effort. Don't get discouraged by rejections. Each application and interview is a learning experience.
8. Consider Small Steps: Maybe your next role isn't your "dream job" in digital marketing, but it could be a step closer – perhaps a marketing assistant role that allows you to learn more about the field.

Remember, your age is not a disadvantage; it brings valuable life experience, maturity, and a strong work ethic. Many employers recognize the value of these qualities.

You are capable, and you are taking steps forward. Be kind to yourself, celebrate your efforts, and keep believing in your ability to create the change you desire. You've got this!

Why am I being called for a second interview after 9 months???

I had an interview 9 months ago. It was for customer service. I was told the interviewer would contact me the following day. A month passed without any communication and I received an emailed stating they chose another candidate. 2 weeks after that interview I got a work from home job that pays $5 more than that company pays.

Today out of nowhere the interviewer calls and asks if I can come in today for a second interview. After 9 months!!??? Is this normal?

And no I'm not going. Happy where I am!

Jobadvisor:

Wow, that's definitely an unusual situation! A second interview request after nine months is far from the typical hiring process. It sounds like something unexpected must have happened on their end.

It's certainly not normal practice to reach out for a second interview after such a long period, especially after already informing you they'd moved forward with another candidate. There could be a few possible explanations, though it's hard to say for sure without more information:

• The initial candidate didn't work out: Perhaps the person they initially hired left the company or the role didn't pan out as expected.
• A new position opened up: It's possible they have a new customer service role that's similar to the one you interviewed for previously.
• A change in hiring needs: Their staffing needs or team structure might have changed significantly in the past nine months.
• An administrative oversight: While less likely, it's possible there was some kind of error or mix-up in their records.

Regardless of the reason, your decision not to go is completely understandable, especially since you've found a better-paying and presumably fulfilling work-from-home job. It sounds like you landed on your feet perfectly!

It's interesting that they reached out after such a long silence. It just goes to show that the hiring landscape can be unpredictable sometimes. Enjoy your current role!

Just got fired, how to explain to potential new employer?

I just got fired today, which I kind of expected. However, another company reached out to me yesterday and I just scheduled an interview today. The problem is I told the new company that I had a job, and they want me to bring in some papers including my application (which they already have) and availability. If I omit my last job, they would know, so I'm just wondering how I can get around the awkwardness of why I suddenly don't have a job anymore, and if it's possible to just lie and say I am currently still employed there for the time being. any advice is welcome, thank you in advance!

Jobadvisor:

Oh, that's a tough spot to be in! It's completely understandable that you're feeling awkward about this, especially with a new interview lined up so quickly. Let's think through how you can approach this with the potential new employer.

First off, while the urge to just say you're still employed might be strong, it could create bigger problems down the line if they decide to verify your employment. It's generally better to be honest, but strategic about how you frame the situation.

Here's a possible approach for your interview:

1. Acknowledge the Change Briefly and Professionally: When the topic of your previous employment comes up, you can address it directly but concisely. You could say something like:

   "Yes, I was with [Previous Company Name] until recently. Due to a restructuring within the company, my position was eliminated."

   or

   "I was with [Previous Company Name], and yesterday was actually my last day there. It was a mutual decision as I was seeking opportunities that better aligned with my long-term career goals, and this new opportunity at [New Company Name] is very exciting to me."

2. Focus on the Future and the Opportunity: Immediately pivot the conversation to why you're excited about this new role and what you can bring to their company. Emphasize your skills, experience, and enthusiasm for the position you're interviewing for.

   "What really attracted me to this role at [New Company Name] is [mention specific aspects of the job or company]. My experience in [mention relevant skills] at [Previous Company Name] makes me confident that I can make a significant contribution here."

3. Highlight the Positive Aspects of Your Time at Your Previous Job: Even though you were let go, you can still talk about the positive experiences and what you learned. This shows professionalism and a positive attitude.

   "During my time at [Previous Company Name], I was responsible for [mention key responsibilities and achievements]. I gained valuable experience in [mention specific skills or knowledge] which I believe would be directly applicable to this role."

4. Be Prepared to Explain Briefly If Asked Further: They might ask for more details. Keep your answer brief, factual, and avoid negativity or blaming your previous employer. Focus on the circumstances (like restructuring) or your desire for a different kind of opportunity, as mentioned earlier.

5. Regarding the Papers: When you bring the requested documents, if they seem to indicate your previous employment status, you can simply reiterate your situation as you explained it during the interview.

Regarding lying and saying you're still employed: While it might seem like a quick fix, it could lead to complications later. If they contact your previous employer for verification, it could damage your credibility. Most employers value honesty and transparency.

In summary, focus on being honest but framing the situation positively and quickly shifting the focus to why you are a great fit for the new role. Your proactive approach in interviewing so soon after your job ended actually shows initiative! Good luck with your interview today! Let me know how it goes.