My biggest client offered me a job after my boss skipped our meeting. Do I tell my company?
I manage one of our larger client accounts and have been working with the same people there for almost 2 years. Last week my boss was supposed to join a call with me and their director but had something come up, so I handled it alone.
After we finished talking business, the director stayed on and asked if I had ever considered working for them directly. I laughed at first because I thought he was just complimenting me, but he got pretty specific. He said they have a role opening soon, it would be a senior title, and the salary range he mentioned is around 35% more than what I make now.
Then he told me not to apply when it gets posted and to email him directly instead.
Nothing is in writing and I havent agreed to anything. The weird part is this client is important enough to my company that me leaving for them would definitely be noticed. I’m also the person who knows most of their account history.
I like my current job and have some money saved, so I’m not desperate to jump just because of the raise. But I would absolutely hear them out.
Do I keep this completely to myself until there is an actual offer, or is interviewing with one of my company’s biggest clients the kind of thing I should tell my boss about beforehand?
Jobadvisor
Why You Should Keep Quiet
- An informal conversation is not an offer: Right now, you have an invitation to explore a possibility, not a job offer. If you bring this up to your boss, you risk destabilizing your current standing, being viewed as a flight risk, or creating unnecessary tension—all over a opportunity that might not end up materializing.
- You lose your leverage: If you tell your boss now, their primary concern will be protecting the account and mitigating risk. They may quietly begin transitioning responsibilities away from you, reassigning the account, or excluding you from long-term planning before you even know if the client is serious.
- Clients routinely recruit talent: While it feels like a sticky ethical situation, clients poaching talent from vendors or agency partners happens frequently across almost every industry.
The Two Non-Negotiable Risks to Check First
- Non-Solicit / Non-Compete Clauses: Check your original employment contract or offer letter. Look for restrictive covenants regarding clients (e.g., non-solicitation or non-compete agreements). Even if the client initiated contact, having a contract in place could impact your options legally or contractually.
- Master Services Agreement (MSA): Often, vendor contracts contain a non-solicit clause prohibiting clients from hiring vendor employees directly (or requiring them to pay a fee if they do). You likely do not have access to this document, but keep in mind that the client may have to navigate this on their end later.
How to Navigate the Next Steps
- Move off company channels immediately: Communicate with the director strictly using your personal phone and personal email address. Never send emails, host calls, or store documents related to this opportunity on your company laptop or network.
- Conduct the interview on your own time: Schedule any calls or interviews outside of working hours or take personal time off.
- Keep business as usual at work: Continue managing the account with the exact same level of care and dedication as before. Do not let your performance slack or treat the account any differently.
How to Handle an Offer If It Comes
- If you want to leave: Give standard notice, remain completely professional, and focus on leaving the account in the best possible hands. Because you hold the account history, offering a thorough handover will help preserve your reputation.
- If you want to stay: A concrete offer gives you real market data. You can leverage the opportunity to negotiate a title upgrade or a salary review with your current employer, without burning bridges prematurely.
My company wants me on a project that could end up eliminating my own department. Is taking it career suicide?
I work in operations for a company that was acquired earlier this year. Last week a VP asked me to join a small four month project mapping out everything our department does, what it costs, which tasks could be automated and which could potentially be handled by an outside vendor.
They were pretty open about the fact that leadership is looking for major cost reductions.
Career wise, it sounds like a huge opportunity. I'd be working directly with senior leadership, getting exposure I would never normally get and probably learning more in four months than I have in the last two years.
The problem is my manager told me privately that if I take it, they probably won't backfill my work and there is no guarantee I come back to the same position afterward. I'd also essentially be helping leadership build the case for cutting jobs on the team I've worked with for years.
I'm more worried about whether I'm being handed a real opportunity or being used to document how replaceable we all are.
Would you take something like this for the exposure or stay where you are and start looking elsewhere?
Jobadvisor
I'd lean toward taking it, but with conditions, and I'd start quietly protecting yourself either way. Both things you're worried about can be true at once: it can be a real opportunity and a way for leadership to get their analysis done cheaply. The question is what you can negotiate and what you do with the information you get.
Why I lean toward taking it
Post-acquisition, the analysis happens whether or not you're on it. The cuts, if they come, will be decided by people with less context than you have. Being in the room means you see the decision-making early, you can correct bad assumptions about what your team does, and you build relationships with the people who will decide who stays. Declining doesn't protect your department. It just removes you from the process, and being the person who said no to a VP during an acquisition isn't a neutral move either.
You'd also learn which way things are heading months before anyone else on your team. Even if the worst happens, you'd be job hunting from a position of knowledge, with senior-leadership exposure on your resume.
The ethical piece
This is the part that deserves real thought. Mapping a department isn't the same as choosing who gets cut, and you may be able to influence how the work is framed, for example by documenting hidden work, risks, and institutional knowledge that a cost spreadsheet would miss. But you'd be learning things about your colleagues' futures that you can't share, and that's uncomfortable. If you can't live with that, it's a legitimate reason to decline. Just know that's the real reason, rather than career strategy.
What I'd do before saying yes
- Ask the VP directly what happens to your role afterward. Get the answer in writing if you can, even an email recap ("just confirming our conversation: after the project I'd return to X or an equivalent role"). Vague answers are information too.
- Ask what the output is used for. Is it a recommendation, or a decision already made that needs documentation? Will you be named in the deliverable?
- Negotiate the terms. A project title, a defined end date, a possible reporting line to the VP, and some acknowledgment of the backfill problem. If your day job isn't being covered, ask how that's supposed to work, since otherwise you'd be doing two jobs.
- Ask about the next step. Strong candidates for these projects often move into the new structure. Ask whether that's a realistic outcome here.
What I'd do regardless
Update your resume now, reconnect with your outside network, and look at what's open in your market. Treat it as insurance rather than a decision to leave. Acquisitions plus cost-reduction mandates mean your department is at risk whether or not you take this project.
When I'd decline
If the VP gets evasive about your role afterward, if your manager's warning suggests the department is already a target, or if you'd be doing the whole thing on top of a full workload with no protection, the offer is much weaker than it looks. In that case, putting energy into an external search makes more sense.
One thing worth weighing: your manager told you this privately, which suggests they're either trying to look out for you or they're uneasy about the project. It might be worth asking them directly what they'd do in your position and why.
What's your read on the VP? Did they seem straight with you, or did it feel like a pitch?
How to deal with jokes about my age/body by my manager? 23F
So I’m working an office job right after finishing college and I’m struggling with the following.
My manager (50M) with whom I work closely together, keeps making comments that make me very uncomfortable. For example, he keeps joking about how ‘young’ I am (more than half his age) and makes continuous comments about my body. They’re not ‘bad’ enough to run straight to HR, but they’re definitely questionable. Examples are, saying I’m so petite that I’m ‘smaller’ than the bag I was carrying, my appetite is bigger than he anticipated from my figure, he could totally picture me in my ballerina outfit after I mentioned I practice ballet, or mentioning it’s the first time he ever saw me wearing X type of clothing (implying he keeps track of my outfits?). He also comments on other people’s bodies, like discussing a certain movie character’s large breasts (I wish I was kidding) and even made a joke about the body of another colleague of ours…
Is it me or is it weird that he’s pointing all these things out to me? It doesn’t necessarily feel sexual or ill-intended but it’s definitely making me feel very uncomfortable! He also always makes sure to make these kind of comments when it’s just the two of us.
I’m not sure if I should confront him since I’m scared it might make things awkward between us… Please give me advice!!!
Jobadvisor
Step 1: Document Everything Starting Today
- Date and Time
- Location (e.g., "In his office, door closed")
- Exact Quote / What Was Said (as accurately as you can remember)
- Context (e.g., "Right after I walked in from lunch")
- How You Responded
Step 2: Use the "Neutral Professional Reset"
- The Direct Professional Pivot:
- Manager: "I could totally picture you in your ballerina outfit."
- You (flat tone, eye contact, no smiling): "I’d prefer to keep our conversations focused on work. Regarding the report for Tuesday..."
- The Clarification Question (Makes them sweat):
- Manager: "Your appetite is bigger than I anticipated from your figure."
- You (curious, zero emotion): "What do you mean by that?" or "Why do you say that?"(Force him to explain his comment out loud. Usually, people stumble when forced to explain a creepy joke).
- The Simple Boundary:
- Manager: "First time I've ever seen you wear that type of clothing."
- You: "I don't really like discussing my body or my clothes at work. Let's get back to [Project]."
Crucial Rule: Do not laugh, smile, or apologize ("Sorry, but...") when setting this boundary. Women are often socialized to laugh off discomfort to keep the peace, but predatory or boundary-pushing managers treat a laugh as permission to keep going.
Step 3: Eliminate "Alone Time" Where Possible
- Keep his office door cracked open during 1-on-1s if you can.
- Walk out of the room or wrap up the meeting immediately when the professional agenda is finished.
- If he starts chatting off-topic, stand up with your notebook and say, "Well, I'll let you get back to it," and head back to your desk.
Step 4: Re-evaluating HR
"I have asked [Manager] to refrain from making comments about my appearance and body, but the remarks have continued. It is making me uncomfortable and impacting my ability to focus on my job."
A Quick Reality Check
Should we move to LA for a 64% raise?
My fiancé and I are both 24 years old and living in the midwest. We are temporarily living with my parents and actually enjoy our current living situation since we are saving a bunch of money and enjoy being with family/friends. I make $90k/year working remote and she makes $61k/year also working remote before taxes. We both love working from home since we get more time to do things without having to commute to work and get to spend more time being around each other.
However, she was just offered a salary increase to $100k/year to work in office in LA. I crunched the numbers and after taxes we will have ~$1.5K/ month additional than we are bringing home now. We have 2 big dogs and so we can’t rent a tiny apartment in LA and will need space for all of us. She would be working in Beverly Hills area so rent is looking like at least $3-3.5K a month for a decent-sized space for us. This would put us -$1.5-2k less per month than we are bringing in now with the rent costs. Also to note, there is a high probability that my job is going to relocate us to Florida in 1.5-2 years or so.
My question is would this be worth it knowing that for any future job offers she may get, she will now be able to give her current $100K salary and get a much better offer than she would staying remote making $61K?
I really appreciate any advice.
Jobadvisor
1. The Financial Reality: High Taxes & Rent Deficit
- California Tax Drag: Moving her income from $61k to $100k in California triggers state income tax rates up to 9.3% plus CA SDI (state disability insurance). Even with a joint gross income of $190k ($90k + $100k), state and federal taxes, state payroll taxes, and gas/sales taxes will eat up a massive portion of that gross $39k increase.
- The "Two Large Dogs" Housing Trap: A $3,000–$3,500 rent budget for a 2-bedroom or spacious 1-bedroom unit near Beverly Hills that accepts two large dogs is exceedingly optimistic. Most dog-friendly apartments near Beverly Hills charge pet rent ($50–$100/dog/month) and have strict weight limits. Finding a place with enough yard space or proximity to green space for two large dogs will likely cost $3,800–$4,500/month.
- The Net Monthly Loss:
- Current Monthly Net Take-Home: ~$9,500 – $10,000 (with minimal housing costs).
- LA Monthly Net Take-Home: ~$11,000 – $11,300 (after CA state taxes).
- New Rent + Pet Rent + Utilities: -$4,000 to -$4,500.
- LA Cost Adjustments (Gas, Car Insurance, Groceries): -$500+ extra per month.
- Net Result: You will be $2,000 to $3,000 WORSE off per month in discretionary cash flow compared to your current setup.
2. Quality of Life & Logistics
- The Beverly Hills Commute: Traffic in West LA is notoriously brutal. If you live further out to find a budget-friendly place with a yard for the dogs (e.g., San Fernando Valley or Culver City), her commute could easily consume 1.5 to 2 hours a day.
- Loss of Remote Flexibility: You both currently love working from home. She will be giving up that flexibility for an office routine in one of the most congested corridors in the country.
- The 1.5–2 Year Florida Horizon: If your job relocates you to Florida in 18 to 24 months, moving to LA now means packing up two large dogs, moving across the country, setting up a life, and then turning around to move across the country again shortly after.
3. Will $100k in LA Help Her Resume/Future Offers?
- Salary History Laws: In California (and many other states), employers are legally prohibited from asking candidates for their current or past salary. They can only ask for her expected salary. She can state her target is $100k+ for her next role without having earned it in LA first.
- Location-Based Pay Inflation: Recruiters know that $100k in Los Angeles is standard entry/mid-level compensation due to cost of living. If she applies for remote jobs later or moves to Florida, employers won't automatically match an LA localized rate unless her skills and title justify it.
- Title vs. Pay: Recruiters care far more about title, scope of responsibility, and measurable achievements than current salary. A $100k in-office role with standard responsibilities isn't inherently more valuable on a resume than a high-impact $75k–$85k remote role with a strong title.
What Should You Do Instead?
- Counter-Offer for Remote or Hybrid: She can go back to her employer and say: "I am thrilled about the promotion and confidence in my work. However, relocating to Los Angeles for an in-office role requires a significant cost-of-living adjustment. Is there an option to take on this expanded scope remotely at a revised salary, or adjust the compensation to reflect LA housing realities ($125k+)?"
- Stay, Save, and Shop Remotely: Stay in your current low-overhead situation in the Midwest, maximize your savings while living with family, and let her leverage her current experience to apply directly for higher-paying remote positions (or target $85k–$95k remote roles) without incurring California taxes and rent.
My company wants us to explain every 30 minutes of our day now
Management rolled out a new spreadsheet this week where everyone has to log what they worked on in 30 minute blocks.
We already have project tracking software, calendars, Teams, and weekly meetings, so nobody understands what this is supposed to accomplish.
My manager said it's not about monitoring people, they just want "better visibility."
Yesterday he messaged me asking what I was doing between 2 and 2:30 because I wrote "client follow ups" instead of listing every client.
Having to document my entire day like I'm billing a law firm is making me want to leave.
Jobadvisor
That would wear me down too. Having to account for every half hour tells people they aren't trusted, and it also costs real time, so the logging itself eats into the work it's measuring. Your frustration is reasonable.
What it's probably for
"Better visibility" is vague on purpose, and there are a few likely explanations. Some are fairly benign: leadership wants data to justify headcount, allocate costs across projects, or find where time goes. Others are less so: someone upstream is worried about productivity, or there's pressure to cut costs and they want evidence either way. Your existing tools already show what people work on, so the new spreadsheet is either a symptom of distrust or a way to get a different kind of data, like time per task type. Which one it is changes how worried you should be.
How I'd handle it day to day
- Be accurate but boring. Log honestly, at the level of detail you'd give a reasonable colleague. Don't inflate anything, and don't pad blocks to look busy, since that's easy to get caught on and makes the whole thing worse.
- Answer the 2:00 question calmly and specifically. Something like "Followed up with five clients on open invoices and renewal questions. Happy to list names if that's useful, but I'd suggest we use categories so this doesn't take me an extra 30 minutes a day." That answers him and also raises the cost of the system without sounding like a complaint.
- Ask what decision the data feeds. A neutral question like "What will you be using this for, so I can log it in the most useful way?" is hard to object to. If he can't answer, that tells you something. If he can, you can often negotiate a lighter version, like logging in categories or by project instead of by half hour.
- Time-box it. Fill it out at the end of the day or in one batch instead of constantly interrupting your work.
- Keep your own record. A simple note of the dates you were asked questions and what you said is enough. It's worth having if this is ever used against someone.
On leaving
I wouldn't quit over the spreadsheet itself, but I wouldn't ignore it as a signal either. A rollout like this, with a vague justification and follow-up questions about individual blocks, often means trust has dropped or something is shifting at the management level. Updating your resume and keeping an eye on the market is cheap insurance, and it also gives you some leverage. If the micromanagement escalates, say to more reporting, more questions, or your manager visibly not believing the answers, that's a stronger reason to start moving than the spreadsheet is.
Is this a company-wide rollout, or just your team? That would tell you a lot about whether it's a policy decision or a manager-level trust problem.