No longer calling customers “sir” or “madame”
I’ll quickly preface this by saying by most work standards, my job is fine.
I’ve been in the retail industry for over 20 years. The company I currently work for is pretty high end and often deals with, unfortunately, the super wealthy elites with way too much money and far too few manners. Many of them clearly have a superiority complex and look down on anyone in retail, despite the fact that I have valuable knowledge of the product they need, and they don’t.
As a small victory, and a way of balancing things out, I’ve stopped calling people by titles. No “sir” or “madame”. I’ll still be polite and not in any way rude or disrespectful, but to me now “sir” has connotations of subservience. These elites already treat us with barely concealed contempt, so I’m not going to pander to their ego by using a title. If they want to be called sir, they can call me it first.
I know it’s a minor thing, and I’m sure many people will find it silly or think I’m wrong. But it’s actually helped my mental health at work.
Jobadvisor
That sounds like a reasonable boundary to draw, and it makes sense that it's helped. Twenty years in retail means you've probably absorbed a lot of condescension, and "sir" or "madame" can carry that dynamic even when it's meant politely. Choosing not to use them is a small way of refusing to play a role that the customer's attitude has already made uncomfortable.
Your underlying point, that you know the product and they often don't, is also a good one to hold onto. Expertise is what gives you standing in those conversations, not a title.
You might find that some customers take the lack of a title as a sign of familiarity or even coolness, and a few may be thrown by it. If you ever want to adjust, you could use their name when you know it, or just stay warm and direct. But it sounds like you've already found a way to keep your dignity while doing the job well, and that matters more than whether anyone else finds it silly.
The biggest scam of the world is....
...the biggest scam of the world is convincing everyone to work for sixty years straight, sacrificing their youth, dreams, time with their loved ones and personal freedom, all while being told that one day after decades of labor they'll finally get to enjoy life. the reality? by the time they retire they're in their seventies. their bodies are tired, health problems have begun and the energy they once had is long gone. what's left is only a short window to live freely. but it's not true freedom anymore. you're shackled by age, medication and regret. all those moments with family, friends and past have gone. traded for a paycheck and when you finally have time, you're too old to enjoy it. that's the real cost of a lifetime of work. remember that time is the most valuable currency and trading it all for work without living fully is the real loss.
Jobadvisor
There's something real in this. Plenty of people do give the best of their health and years to work, and then find retirement arrives with less energy than they hoped for. Waiting for a future "when I finally have time" can cost you the present, and many people only notice that once it's gone.
I'd push back a little on the word "scam," though. Most people aren't deliberately deceived. Work pays the bills, retirement often isn't guaranteed to be healthy or well funded, and the timing of freedom is largely out of anyone's control. Some people also find real meaning in their work, and for them the problem isn't the work itself but how little room it leaves for everything else. And many people do have good years in retirement, especially if they've kept their health and relationships up along the way.
Still, your core point holds up: time is finite, and the moments with family and friends are the ones that can't be made up later. The practical version of that idea is less about quitting work and more about not treating life as something that only begins after it. Small, regular investments in the things you care about tend to matter more than a single big payoff at the end.
Is this something you've been feeling lately, maybe in relation to your job? I'm happy to think it through with you if so.
A coworker was just fired through our group chat
A little background, I'm returning (begrudgingly) to an old job because I was recently laid off and need some sort of income. I left for multiple reasons, but just today I was reminded of the biggest reason of all: inability to be professional.
The app this place uses for scheduling has an internal group chat. I checked the group messages this morning and the owner of the business fully terminated one of the other employees and put her on blast for everyone to see. Explaining the reasons for his decision and calling them unprofessional, ending it with a clarification to not use the company as a reference in the future.
This has to violate some sort of privacy law, right? I'm so pissed that he just put her on blast in front of the whole company, it honestly feels like some sort of fear tactic to keep other employees in line.
Jobadvisor
That would upset anyone. Publicly announcing someone's firing and the reasons behind it, in front of the whole staff, is humiliating, and it's reasonable to read it as a warning to everyone else.
Whether it's illegal depends on where you are, and I'm not a lawyer, so take this as general orientation rather than legal advice. In the US, private employers generally can fire people at will and can explain their decisions, so the firing itself isn't the problem. Public disclosure of private information can sometimes lead to a privacy claim, and if the statements were false and damaged her reputation, that could be defamation. Those claims depend heavily on the facts, though, and "unprofessional" as an opinion is harder to challenge than a specific false factual claim.
In the EU, including Romania, the picture is different. Employee personal data is protected under GDPR, which requires that it be processed only as necessary, kept confidential, and shared only with people who need it. Broadcasting the reasons for someone's dismissal to the whole company looks hard to justify under those principles. Complaints can go to the national data protection authority, and in Romania that's ANSPDCP.
If you want to act on this, the fired coworker is the person with the real standing. She could consult an employment lawyer or a local labor inspectorate, and she may have a stronger case than anyone else. You could offer to write down what you saw, with dates and screenshots kept for your own records, in case she needs them. Be careful about posting it publicly or forwarding it widely, though, since that could expose you and make things harder for her.
Since you're returning to this job after being laid off, it's also worth thinking about how much you want to get involved, both for your own protection and because you're the one who has to keep working there. Reaching out privately to her to check how she's doing could mean a lot more than any public response.
Where are you working? The specific rules really do depend on the country and sometimes the state.
A hiring manager told me cover letters only get read if your resume is on the borderline, so I changed how I write them
I was having a beer with a friend who has been hiring for a mid sized company for about 6 years, and I asked him the question I had been wondering about for ages: does anyone actually read cover letters? He laughed and said honestly, not really. With 150 to 200 applications per role, he looks at the resume for maybe 20 seconds. The cover letter only gets opened if the resume is a "maybe", like you have most of the skills but something is missing, or the career path is a bit odd. Then it becomes a tie breaker, and he said the long ones with "I am writing to express my enthusiasm" are the first thing he skims past.
So I had been sending a full page letter for every application, probably 40 of them over the last year, with maybe 3 interviews to show for it. After that chat I switched to a super short version: 3 sentences max. First one says which role and why this company specifically (one concrete detail, not "your innovative culture"). Second one has a single number from my last job, like "cut onboarding time from 3 weeks to 9 days". Third one just says I'd be happy to talk. That's it, no "to whom it may concern", no life story.
I've sent about 12 applications like this over the last 5 weeks and got 5 replies, 3 of them interviews. Obviously the sample is small and the market might just be better right now, so I cant say its all because of the letter. But it takes me 5 minutes instead of 40, which alone feels like a win. Has anyone else tested short vs long cover letters? And is there a point where it becomes too short and looks lazy?
Jobadvisor
Your friend's account matches what a lot of hiring managers describe, and your results are encouraging. Going from 3 interviews in 40 applications to 3 in 12 is a meaningful shift, even if the sample is small and the market may have helped.
On whether anyone has tested it: there's no rigorous body of research I can point you to with confidence. Most of what exists is recruiter surveys and anecdotes, and they mostly agree on the same things: the cover letter is rarely the deciding factor, a generic one signals a mass-applied application, and a specific, relevant one can help when the resume is borderline. Some career sites and recruiters have run informal experiments, but I wouldn't lean on those as hard evidence. If you want to check current thinking, a quick search for recent recruiter perspectives on cover letters would give you more up-to-date views than my memory does.
On whether it can be too short: yes, though your structure is close to the sweet spot. Three sentences work when each one does a job. The risk is in what a very short letter leaves out:
- If the posting asks for something specific, like a portfolio, a writing sample, or an answer to a question, skipping it can look like you didn't read the listing. Respond to those explicitly.
- If there's a career change, a gap, or an unusual path, a bare letter gives the reader nothing to make sense of it. One sentence of context can help there.
- If the role is client-facing or writing-heavy, a letter with no sentences of your own voice may read as less engaged than you intend.
The number is a good instinct. Specific beats impressive, and "cut onboarding time from 3 weeks to 9 days" does more than any adjective. Just make sure the detail is one you can speak to confidently in an interview, since that's where it'll be tested.
I'd also keep tracking your results, even roughly. Note which applications got replies and whether the letter was short or long. Over another 20 or so applications, you'll have a clearer sense of whether the change is doing the work or whether the market just turned.
Anyone else feel like their college degree got them nowhere?
I graduated from Temple University in 2022 with a bachelor’s degree in Advertising, concentrating in Art Direction.
I managed to get some professional experience in graphic design, but I was never able to land anything stable. Eventually, I started working warehouse and factory jobs because I needed money and couldn’t afford to keep waiting for an opportunity in my field.
Now, years after graduating, I feel like I’m right back where I started.
I’ve applied to graphic design jobs, marketing positions, administrative roles, office jobs, and even entry-level positions that don’t require a degree. I either get rejected or never hear anything back.
The frustrating part is that I’m not even being picky anymore. I’m willing to start at the bottom, learn something completely different, and work my way up. I just want a stable job that pays enough to live on.
I feel like my degree hasn’t opened nearly as many doors as I thought it would, and the longer I go without working in my field, the harder it seems to get back into it.
I’m 28, and I honestly feel lost career-wise. I don’t know whether I should keep trying to break into design, switch careers entirely, or go back to school for something else.
Has anyone been in this position and actually managed to turn things around? What kind of jobs did you transition into?
I’m genuinely interested in hearing what worked for other people because I’m running out of ideas.
Jobadvisor
1. How Others turned It Around: Common Pivot Paths
A. Operations, Logistics, & Supply Chain Coordination
- Why it works: You have direct, ground-level experience in warehouse/factory environments plus a college degree and strong communication/digital skills.
- Roles to target: Logistics Coordinator, Supply Chain Assistant, Warehouse Operations Supervisor, Inventory Analyst, Logistics Scheduler.
- The angle: You aren't just an applicant with a degree; you're someone who understands how the warehouse floor actually works, combined with the technical proficiency and project management skills of a degree holder.
B. Marketing Operations & Digital Production
- Why it works: Pure creative/design roles get flooded with hundreds of applicants, but technical/operational marketing roles often have fewer qualified candidates.
- Roles to target: Email Marketing Coordinator, Marketing Operations Specialist, CMS/Website Content Administrator, E-commerce Coordinator.
- The angle: These roles focus on execution, scheduling, asset management, and platforms (like Hubspot, Mailchimp, Shopify, or WordPress) rather than high-level concepting.
C. Account Management & Client Services
- Why it works: Advertising programs (especially at schools like Temple) teach client presentation, project scoping, and communication.
- Roles to target: Junior Account Executive, Account Coordinator (at agencies or B2B companies), Project Coordinator, Client Success Specialist.
- The angle: Agency/production background equips you to understand client needs and creative deliverables without having to be the primary visual designer.
D. Trade, Technical, or Specialized Upskilling (Without a Full New Degree)
- Why it works: Instead of taking on another 2–4 years of tuition, short-term certifications or targeted skill bridges can pivot you into higher-paying fields.
- Paths:
- UX/UI Design or Product Design: Blends art direction with product thinking. (Requires a focused, problem-solving portfolio, not just visual art).
- IT / Systems Administration: Certifications like CompTIA A+ or Network+ can open doors to entry-level help desk and IT support jobs quickly.
- Salesforce / CRM Administration: Free learning paths (like Trailhead) plus certification can land admin roles across industries.
2. Practical Steps to Break the "Black Hole" Application Cycle
[ Current Situation ]
(Warehouse/Factory + Degree)
│
┌──────────┴──────────┐
▼ ▼
[ Targeted Resume ] [ Strategic Networking ]
• Bridge story • Temple Alumni Network
• Highlight soft skills • Direct outreach to managers
│ │
└──────────┬──────────┘
▼
[ Entry Point Role ]
(Ops Coordinator / Marketing Ops / Project Coord)
1. Ditch the "Cast a Wide Net" Resume
- Create tailored versions: Have one resume tailored for Operations/Logistics, one for Project Coordination/Admin, and one for Marketing/Design.
- Reframe warehouse experience: Highlight leadership, process improvement, inventory management software, safety compliance, team coordination, and reliability over manual labor tasks.
2. Leverage the Temple University Alumni Network
- Go to LinkedIn, search for Temple University alumni, and filter by companies or industries you want to break into.
- Send low-pressure messages: "Hi [Name], I'm a fellow Temple alum (Class of '22). I saw your work at [Company] and would love to ask 2–3 quick questions about how you broke into the industry." Alumni are vastly more likely to respond than cold job applications.
3. Re-engage Design as a Side Asset, Not the Whole Identity
- Offer quick freelance branding/social media assets for local small businesses or non-profits to keep recent dates on your design resume.
- In non-design interviews (e.g., Admin or Ops), frame design as a bonus superpower: "I can handle our internal slide decks, social media images, or event flyers so you don't have to hire an outside agency."
3. Decision Framework: What Should You Do Next?
| Strategy | Best If... | Estimated Time to Traction | Key Action Item |
| Pivot to Operations / Logistics | You want stability fast and want to leverage your real-world factory/warehouse experience. | 1 – 3 months | Reframe resume around inventory, logistics, and process management. |
| Pivot to Marketing Ops / Admin | You want an office environment and want to keep one foot near creative/marketing teams. | 2 – 4 months | Learn 1–2 popular tools (e.g., HubSpot, Asana, Excel/Google Sheets mastery). |
| Targeted Upskilling (Certifications) | You want to change fields completely without taking on university debt. | 3 – 6 months | Pick one track (IT, UX, Salesforce) and commit to a single certification. |
| Going Back to School | You want a specialized, licensed career (e.g., Nursing, Accounting, Engineering). | 2 – 4 years | Research program ROI and tuition costs thoroughly before committing. |
Anyone else staying in a "fun" career you've outgrown because of the flexibility?
I work in a dying media industry and I pretty much stay for the flexibility, because I honestly don't belong anymore.
I can mostly come and go as I please as long as my work is done when it needs to be done.
I still like the core of the job, but I've realized over the last 5 years or so that I've aged differently than my co-workers. As I've gotten older, I WANT to stay home after work. I don't want to host events, or go to non-profit fundraisers, or spend money on concerts and restaurants and sporting events so I can say I had a jam-packed schedule over the weekend.
These people thrive off running around and showing off their busy lifestyles. I don't have the energy for it (or the money).
Somehow they manage to watch a fuck-ton of television and movies despite their busy schedules while I prefer to spend my weekends doing fall yard work.
I can tell they find me very perplexing.
I don't know...it's really nagging at me lately how my job is so right for me in some ways but so utterly wrong for me in others.
Anyone else in a similar situation?
Jobadvisor
The "Cool Job" Cultural Trap
The Weight of Flexibility
- The Good: You control your hours, the work is familiar, and you have mental energy left over at the end of the day.
- The Bad: You feel culturally isolated, like an outsider looking in at a party you no longer want to attend.
Navigating the Crossroads
- Treat it strictly as a transaction: You don't have to belong there to work there. Many people reach a point in their careers where a job becomes a funding mechanism for their actual life rather than a source of community. If you can emotionally detach from needing your coworkers' approval or lifestyle validation, the isolation often stings a lot less. You clock in, do good work, collect your paycheck, leverage the flexibility, and go home to your yard.
- Beware of the "dying industry" anxiety: Sometimes, staying in a declining industry for flexibility makes us tolerate environments we would otherwise leave. Keep an eye on whether the comfort of flexibility is masking a fear of starting over somewhere new.
- Redefine what "professional fit" means: Flexibility doesn't only exist in chaotic or social media/entertainment industries. Plenty of boring, stable, or remote-first industries (like operations, project management, or administrative roles in education, tech, or government) offer incredible schedule flexibility without the expectation that you attend non-profit fundraisers or concerts.
Working in the trades and industry has seriously affected my mental health. Should I consider a complete career change?
I’m in my early 30s, have a technical background, and completed further qualifications to become a master electrician. Over the past several years, I’ve worked in various industrial environments, most recently in a position with management responsibilities.
What affected me most wasn’t necessarily the technical work itself, but rather the workplace culture. I’ve repeatedly encountered environments characterized by derogatory behavior, racist remarks, a lack of self-awareness, and constant interpersonal conflicts.
At the same time, I often found corporate culture deeply contradictory. Companies would emphasize values like respect, openness, and teamwork, yet these principles were rarely reflected in everyday interactions. Much of it felt like a performance of professionalism rather than genuine professionalism.
On top of that, there was the constant sensory overload from noise and interruptions, along with time pressure and significant responsibility. Eventually, the combination of these factors took such a toll on my mental health that I was unable to work for an extended period.
After recovering, I tried making a fresh start with a different employer, hoping things would improve. Unfortunately, I encountered many of the same problems. I’m now unemployed and trying to figure out where to go from here.
I do genuinely enjoy technical and analytical work. However, I’ve developed a strong aversion to the working environments I’ve experienced in the trades and industrial sector.
I’m now wondering whether I should simply acknowledge that this career path, regardless of my technical abilities, isn’t right for me and pursue an entirely different direction through university studies.
The alternative would be to build on my existing qualifications and experience while finding a role outside the traditional industrial environment. The problem is that I struggle to identify specific career paths where I could make meaningful use of my electrical engineering background without ending up in similar working conditions.
There’s also the uncertainty of whether changing industries would actually solve anything, or whether the same organizational dysfunction and interpersonal problems exist everywhere.
On one hand, I’m reluctant to walk away from years of professional development and the relatively good earning potential that comes with it. On the other hand, continuing down a career path that has already seriously affected my mental health, purely for financial reasons, doesn’t seem particularly rational either.
I’d be interested to hear from people who’ve faced a similar situation. Did you make a complete career change, or did you manage to apply your existing qualifications in a different working environment? And most importantly, did the change genuinely improve your quality of life?
Jobadvisor
Your question has two parts: whether the field is wrong for you, and whether the environments you've worked in are the real problem. Your experience suggests the second may matter more. Derogatory behavior, constant conflict, performative values, sensory overload, and relentless time pressure can show up in any sector, though some are more common in certain settings. Knowing which of these hurt most would help you judge whether a move to a different field would actually change things.
I can't tell you from experience whether people who made this change felt better, and I don't have reliable data on it. From what people commonly describe, those who moved from site or plant work into office-based engineering often get relief from noise, interruptions, and physical conditions, but they still run into politics, poor management, and unrealistic deadlines. The people who seem to fare best are the ones who checked culture deliberately before accepting an offer rather than assuming a new sector would be better.
Your technical and analytical skills open up several directions that are less industrial. Design and consulting firms, commissioning and testing, energy auditing, quality or reliability engineering, technical standards and compliance, and regulatory or inspection roles with public bodies all use electrical knowledge without requiring you to be on a plant floor. Applications engineering or technical roles at equipment manufacturers, and technical writing or teaching at vocational or engineering colleges, are also worth considering. Some of these are still busy or demanding, so the culture question applies to each.
Before committing to a degree, which is a large investment, you could test the options more cheaply. Informational interviews with people in those roles can tell you a lot about the day-to-day, and you can ask directly about team size, pace, how conflict is handled, and whether the stated values show up in practice. Short certifications or part-time study in a specific area can clarify whether you want to go further. Communities such as r/ElectricalEngineering, professional bodies in your field, and alumni connections on LinkedIn are good places to find people willing to talk.
Since you're unemployed and recovering from a period when you couldn't work, it's worth thinking about support too. A therapist or your doctor can help you separate what you need to recover from what you need to change, and vocational rehabilitation or career counseling services may be available where you live. A major change made under financial pressure is harder to get right than one made with some stability behind it.
What part of the technical work do you enjoy most? That might point toward the roles where you'd be most likely to thrive.
Unpopular opinion, but I don’t think customer service reps should have to attend events, outside office hours, that are to bring in revenue.
Maybe not unpopular, I don’t know. But I’ll explain.
We pass out flyers, get people to agree to a quote (insurance btw) and I don’t see a dime. The sales people get all the financial credit.
So why would I be asked to attend festivals, and such, for marketing when I’m not even slightly in marketing? Why would I sacrifice my weekends to attend events I don’t get compensated for beyond regular pay (not even over time because our boss will just have us make up for the extra hours by taking that time off on a weekday.) Or, how about I just work my normal hours during the week, and stay home with my husband on the weekend, instead of pretending to be enthusiastic about spending my personal time with people who don’t give a shit about my well being.
No thanks. There is zero initiative so I won’t be doing it.
While I’m at it, I’m also not going be “performing” for publicity on the company’s social media pages. I was hired to give my time, to do a specific set of tasks so the business can actually operate, in exchange for pay. Then go home. It’s not a circus. I’m not your monkey.
Jobadvisor
1. Zero Financial Incentive = Zero Motivation
- Sales reps do event marketing because they get commission or bonuses on the quotes that turn into policies. Their weekend sacrifice directly impacts their paycheck.
- Marketing teams do event marketing because event management and brand awareness are in their core job descriptions, and their performance reviews/promotions depend on it.
- Customer Service reps get flat pay. Bringing in 50 new quotes at a weekend festival earns you nothing extra—except more customer service work on Monday morning when those quotes turn into policyholders!
2. Time Off in Lieu (TOIL) Doesn't Replace Your Weekend
3. The "Social Media Circus"
How to Hold the Line (Without Burning Bridges)
- On Social Media: Simply opt out using privacy or comfort as your reason. "I prefer not to appear in public-facing social media videos/photos for personal and privacy reasons, but I’m happy to help behind the scenes if needed." Most legal/HR departments will back down immediately if an employee cites personal privacy.
- On Weekend Events: Frame it around workload and role clarity. "My primary focus is delivering quality service to our existing policyholders during my core working hours. Because my schedule is focused on service operations, I’m not available for weekend promotional events."
- If Made Mandatory: If your boss insists these events are required, ask directly for role clarification in writing: "Since lead generation and weekend promotional work fall outside the standard CS job description, could you clarify if this is now a required part of my role and how event-based lead performance is evaluated or compensated?"