For those who still complete job assessments, how do you actually get through them?
From reading posts here, it seems a lot of people either skip applications with assessments or find them really frustrating. I get why they can be repetitive and time-consuming.
But for those of you who still complete them, what's your approach?
I'm mainly curious what people actually do in practice and whether you've found anything that genuinely makes the process easier.
Jobadvisor
Fair question — assessments are a slog, but there are people who've made peace with them and developed actual systems. Here's what tends to work, based on common patterns people report:
They batch by type, not by application Most assessments fall into a few buckets: personality/culture-fit questionnaires, cognitive/aptitude tests, technical skills tests, and situational judgment tests. People who don't burn out tend to treat these as categories to get good at, not one-off hoops. Once you've done a dozen SJTs, you start recognizing the "pick the most diplomatic answer" pattern instead of relearning it each time.
They stop overthinking personality tests The biggest time sink is people trying to reverse-engineer what the "right" personality looks like. The more efficient approach is answering fast and consistently rather than agonizing — these tests usually have consistency checks that flag erratic or over-optimized answers anyway. Answering close to how you'd actually behave at work (not your ideal self) tends to score better and takes a fraction of the time.
They triage before starting Before opening the assessment, some people quickly check: how long is this, is it timed, is it proctored, does it block progress toward a real interview. If it's a 90-minute unpaid test for a role with no clear next step, that's often where people decide to skip it. The completion decision happens before the test, not mid-way through.
They treat cognitive/aptitude tests like a skill to train, not a one-time hurdle For numerical/logical reasoning tests specifically, doing a handful of practice sets (there are free ones from sites like AssessmentDay, SHL practice tests, etc.) makes a measurable difference because the question formats are genuinely unfamiliar the first time and genuinely fast the fifth time.
They keep a "cheat sheet" of past answers For open-ended situational questions ("describe a time you handled conflict"), a lot of people keep a personal doc with 4-5 solid STAR-format stories they've already written once. Assessments often ask variations of the same behavioral prompts, so you're adapting rather than writing from scratch each time.
They don't do them at night Small thing, but cognitive tests in particular are sensitive to fatigue, and a bad score from being tired at 11pm is a worse outcome than doing it fresh the next morning even if that means missing same-day submission.
If you want, I can go deeper on any specific type — like how to approach SJTs, or what a good practice routine for numerical reasoning tests looks like.
My 23-year-old brother seems to be giving up on life. I don't know how to help him.
My younger brother is 23. For the past year he's basically stayed at my parents house doing nothing. No job, no school, barely leaves the house, doesn't really see friends (all have started to get busy with life), doesn't work on his fitness anymore (he has been on a weight loss journey for a few years), and just seems stuck.
He studied fashion but dropped out before his final year. Back in high school he started a clothing brand with his best friend and they actually had two really successful drops. Then they had some sort of falling out, split up, and he's been trying to continue the brand on his own ever since.
The problem is he hasn't released anything in over two years. He talks about ideas but never actually follows through. He even went to China to meet with potential manufacturers but nothing ever came of it.
The thing that makes this so frustrating is that I know he's capable. He's genuinely smart, charismatic, and really good with people when he wants to be. He worked one summer in luxury retail and absolutely crushed it. His manager said he'd never seen someone sell as much as he did.
He also worked a corporate job for about a year, but his manager was incredibly toxic and basically destroyed his confidence. Since then he's been saying he never wants to work in corporate again which I honestly understand.
My parents have been very supportive but I can tell they're starting to lose patience. He lives at home for free, has no bills, doesn't really help around the house, and my mom even offered to pay for therapy or a coach. He refused. I think that's a shame because I really believe what he needs is some kind of mentor but I have no idea how you even go about finding the right person for that.
I recently sat down with him and tried to make a simple plan for the next few months:
get a part-time sales job just to have some routine and income
keep working on his clothing brand on the side
join a judo club to exercise and meet people again
He agreed with everything but nothing has happened.
At this point, I feel like every suggestion I make misses the mark. I've encouraged him to look into organizations that support young entrepreneurs, business incubators, or coaching programs. I suggested going back to school to finish his degree, maybe with more of an entrepreneurship focus so he could build a network. I've even mentioned apprenticeships in fashion. I don't know much about the fashion industry or what the best path looks like, but my thinking is that when you feel stuck, it's better to try something than wait for the perfect opportunity.
Part of me thinks he just has zero confidence left. Another part of me wonders if we've enabled him for too long by making life too comfortable.
I don't want to push him too hard because I'm afraid he'll just shut down even more, but I'm also worried that if nothing changes he'll spend years like this.
Has anyone had a sibling like this? Or been this person themselves? What actually helped?
I'd really appreciate any advice.
Jobadvisor
This is a lot to carry for a sibling, and it's clear how much you love him and how much thought you've put into this already.
I want to gently name something: what you're describing — a year of not leaving the house, disengaging from friends, dropping fitness goals he cared about, refusing offered help, agreeing to plans and then not following through on any of them — isn't just "stuck" or "lacking confidence." That pattern is often what depression actually looks like from the outside. Not always sadness and tears. Often it's exactly this: flatness, paralysis, isolation, and a kind of follow-through failure that looks like laziness but isn't.
I say this because it changes what "help" looks like. If this were purely a motivation or direction problem, the plan you made with him — sales job, brand on the side, judo club — was genuinely good advice. But if he's depressed, that plan requires exactly the kind of executive function and energy that depression takes away first. He may have agreed with you sincerely and still not been able to act on it, not because he didn't mean it, but because that gap between intending and doing is often the core symptom.
A few things that might actually shift something:
The refusal of therapy might not be final. A lot of people refuse the first time, especially framed as "you should get help" (which can land as "something is wrong with you"). It sometimes lands differently coming from a sibling than a parent, and differently when it's not offered as a solution but as company — "I'll help you find someone, I'll sit with you while you make the call, you don't have to know what to say." Low-barrier entry points (a GP visit first, rather than "therapy" as a big scary category) sometimes work when therapy itself feels too heavy to agree to.
One conversation, not a plan. You already tried the structured-plan approach and it didn't move. It might be worth one conversation that isn't about next steps at all — just asking how he's actually doing, whether he still enjoys things, whether he's felt this level of stuck before now. Not to fix it, just to see him. Sometimes what's underneath "I never want to work in corporate again" is something more like "I don't trust myself anymore," and that's a very different thing to respond to.
Your parents' patience running out is a real pressure point, but tread carefully there. If he is depressed, an ultimatum ("get a job or start paying rent") can occasionally work as a jolt, but it can also confirm the belief that's likely already running underneath all this — that he's a disappointment, that he's failing everyone, that he's fundamentally not okay. That belief is often what's driving the paralysis in the first place, not laziness. I'm not saying no structure or expectations — just that how it's delivered matters as much as what's delivered.
You don't have to be the one who fixes this. You've clearly tried very hard to find the right lever — incubators, apprenticeships, school, mentors — and none of it has landed, which must be exhausting and a little heartbreaking. That's not a sign you're doing it wrong. It's a sign this may be bigger than a career or motivation problem, and outside what career advice can solve.
If you can, it might be worth talking to your parents about seeing a GP or therapist yourselves — not about him, but about how to support him without burning out, and how to have this conversation well. Family therapy or a session for you and your parents alone can help you find language that doesn't push him further away.
I want to flag one more thing directly: you mentioned he seems to be "giving up on life," which is a serious phrase. If at any point he says anything that sounds like hopelessness about the future, or like he doesn't see a point in continuing, please take that seriously and don't wait it out. In the US, 988 (call or text) reaches the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If you're elsewhere, I'm happy to help find the right number.
How is he seeming to you emotionally day to day — flat and withdrawn, or more like frustrated and restless?
30, starting over academically, and I keep feeling like I'm settling. Anyone else been here?
I don't really know how to start this so I'm just going to write it out.
I'm 30. I went to college originally for business because it felt like the "safe" and "smart" choice. Then I switched to nursing, which honestly felt like the first real decision I made for myself in a long time.
Here's the part I don't usually say out loud. I spent almost ten years in a relationship that was toxic, controlling, and abusive. I lost my first son during that time. A year later, I became a stay at home mom during COVID, completely cut off from having anything of my own, not allowed to work, not allowed to build anything for myself. I look back now and realize how much of that decade was spent shrinking myself so someone else could feel in control.
So here I am now, 30, finishing my prerequisites, applying to nursing schools, and trying to build something real. And I want to be proud of that. Some days I am. But other days I feel this quiet panic that I'm settling..
I have always wanted to lead. I want control over my work, I want to make a real impact, not just follow orders. I actually loved being in the OR when I got exposure to it, and there's a part of me that has always dreamed about going to medical school. But starting med school at 30, after everything I've already lost, doesn't feel safe anymore and just feels like too much risk with too little time.
Nursing feels like a faster route (and is) to an actual paycheck, and I'm struggling financially in a way that makes "just take your time and figure it out" not really an option. My plan is to get through nursing, get experience, and eventually go for CRNA so I still get some of that autonomy and higher level clinical role I want. On paper it makes total sense. So why do I keep feeling like I'm settling?...
On top of all that, my GPA isn't where I want it to be. I started college back in 2014 doing business courses, and honestly I wasn't serious about school at all back then. I was young and just going through the motions of balancing work and school. Now I'm back in my pre requisites for nursing, working to bring that GPA up and prove, mostly to myself, that I can actually do this when I'm serious about it. Apart of me is also scared that these colleges will also see these classes in the beginning and weigh that heavily.
I think part of it is watching everyone my age already deep into their careers. Friends who graduated on time, got promoted, married, bought houses, built whole lives while I was surviving something most people never see behind closed doors.
If anyone here has been 30 or older and felt behind, confused, or like you were choosing the "practical" path instead of the one you actually wanted, I would really love to hear how you worked through that. Did the doubt ever go away? Did you end up somewhere you're glad you landed, even if it wasn't the original plan? Any advice for someone rebuilding a whole life and career from the ground up would mean a lot right now. Also any advice for newly single mothers in the same situation.
TIA <3
Jobadvisor
This is a lot to have carried, and it says something that you're still building. I want to respond to what you actually asked, not just cheerlead.
On "settling." I'd gently push on that word. Settling usually means accepting less than what you want because you've given up on wanting more. That's not what's happening here. You're choosing a path that gets you toward autonomy and high-level clinical work — CRNA — while also paying rent this year instead of in eight. That's not giving up on the dream, that's sequencing it. A lot of people who "went straight for it" also spent a decade doing something they didn't love because the fast path wasn't survivable for them either — they just didn't have to make the tradeoff as consciously as you're making it. Conscious tradeoffs often feel worse in the moment than unconscious ones, even when they're the smarter choice.
On the panic itself. It might be worth sitting with the possibility that the panic isn't actually about nursing vs. medicine. You spent ten years having your choices made for you, or made under threat. Now every choice you make for yourself probably gets audited hard, because the cost of the wrong choice used to be enormous. That kind of hypervigilance doesn't know how to tell the difference between "this is a real red flag" and "this is just a normal uncertain decision that any 30-year-old would feel shaky about." Both can produce the same panic. Worth naming that distinction for yourself when it comes up, and maybe with a therapist if you're not already working with one — not because something's wrong with you, but because that kind of scrutiny of your own decisions is exhausting to carry alone, and you've earned some rest from it.
On the GPA and 2014 classes. Admissions committees see this constantly — a rough early attempt followed by a serious, sustained upward trend is one of the most common and most believable narratives in nursing/CRNA admissions. What matters most is your recent and prerequisite GPA trajectory, not that you were 19 and unfocused a decade ago. You don't need to over-explain it in an essay; a strong recent record does the explaining for you.
On CRNA specifically, since it's your actual target: it's a genuinely realistic path from where you are — BSN, ICU experience (usually 1-2 years minimum, often more competitive with more), then CRNA school. It's still years out, but it's a well-worn road with a clear map, unlike a lot of "start over at 30" situations. That's worth something. You're not improvising a route; you're walking one other people have already proven works.
One thing I'd add for newly single mothers rebuilding: line up your support system before you need it — childcare backup, financial cushion, people you can call at 11pm — because nursing school and clinicals will test that infrastructure hard, and it's easier to build it now than mid-crisis.
Whatever the doubt is telling you, it doesn't sound to me like you're settling. It sounds like you're being strategic under real constraints, which is a different thing entirely.
My only passion is computer science, but it feels broken now. What should I do instead?
My only real passion has always been computer science and programming, but lately it feels like people chasing money have broken the field. It feels oversaturated, competitive, and like getting a job has become a lottery. A career that I genuinely wanted to pursue now feels like something I can’t realistically go into anymore.
So what am I supposed to do? Should I choose something that is in demand, something that pays well, or should I still follow what I like even if the chances seem worse? The problem is that every field I become interested in seems to eventually get flooded by people trying to make money from it. If the one thing I truly enjoyed feels impossible now, how do you even decide what path to take?
It feels like my only strenght was computer science and it is now taken from me I really don't know what am i supposed to do.
Jobadvisor
You're not wrong about what's happening in the market, but I think the conclusion you're drawing from it — "this is taken from me" — isn't quite what the data supports.
Here's the honest picture right now: CS graduate unemployment is elevated, and entry-level generalist software engineering roles have dropped sharply year-over-year, driven by tech layoffs and AI shifting where junior hiring happens. That part is real, and it's fair to be angry or scared about it. But the more precise picture is that the field isn't uniformly oversaturated — it's the broad, generic roles like junior software developer that are hit hardest, while employers still want technical talent, they're just pickier about who. AI tooling, cloud infrastructure, embedded systems, and applied ML are areas where specialists are outperforming generalists, and cybersecurity alone has close to 5 million unfilled positions globally.
So the thing you love — CS, programming, building systems — isn't broken. What's broken is the specific on-ramp a lot of people expected: get a general CS degree, apply broadly, get a job. That path is genuinely harder now. But that's a statement about entry strategy, not about whether your passion has a future.
A few reframes that might actually help:
"Oversaturated" is a statement about undifferentiated candidates, not about the field. A graduate with only coursework struggles, while one with internships, production-quality projects, and specialized expertise differentiates themselves. That's frustrating because it means more work than a diploma used to require — but it's not the same as "impossible."
The pattern you're describing — "everything I like gets flooded" — deserves a closer look, because I don't think it's really about CS specifically. If you follow that logic all the way through, it leads to "there is no field I can safely like," which isn't really a strategy, it's a trap. Popularity and saturation move in cycles. Being early into a specialization within CS (say, ML infra, or security, or whatever you're actually drawn to inside the field) is a very different bet than being one of 80,000 generic CS grads applying to the same 50 companies.
You don't have to choose between "what I love" and "what's in demand" as opposites. The actual question is narrower and more answerable: within computer science, what's the specific niche where your interest and the market's current hunger overlap? That's a research project you can actually do, not a referendum on whether to abandon the one thing you're good at.
What part of programming pulls you in when you're doing it — building things, solving hard logic puzzles, security, data, something else? That'd help point at where inside CS still has real doors open.
Want to take Medical Leave but scared?
I work for a fully remote tech company. I’ve been with the company for over 6 years. I’ve been a high performer but have had a lot of problems this year. I have been unable to work with a counterpart of mine due to personality differences. Unfortunately, our difficulties to work together have reached my VP.
Since my time at this company, I’ve had 2 kids, gone through a number of personal issues with my family, life transitions etc. I constantly feel very stressed and anxious and my work load is very demanding.
Im reaching a breaking point and want to take medical leave to just dedicate time to my mental health.
I do have short term disability which can cover my pay while I’m out. I’m considering taking a full 12 weeks. I understand that legally I do not owe an explanation to my department, however, I don’t want to burn my bridges when I come back to work.
My question is, when I notify HR of the medical leave, should i provide an explanation to my VP? Should I give them 2-3 weeks to prepare before I go on leave?
What is the appropriate approach that won’t hurt my reputation and the company when I want to come back?
Thank you in advance.
Jobadvisor
A few practical things worth separating here, since you're mixing "what's legally required," "what's strategically wise," and "what feels right" — and they don't all point the same direction.
You don't owe anyone a diagnosis, and you shouldn't give one. Under FMLA (if you're covered — 12+ months employed, 1,250+ hours worked, employer has 50+ employees within 75 miles, which is worth confirming since fully remote companies can complicate the "worksite" calculation), you're legally entitled to say only that you need medical leave for a serious health condition, certified by your provider. You don't need to explain "why now" or connect it to the conflict with your counterpart. Mixing those two things — "I need leave" and "here's the interpersonal situation that's stressing me out" — actually works against you, because it hands people a narrative where your leave looks reactive to a conflict rather than a legitimate medical need. Keep them separate in your own head and in what you say.
Who you tell what:
- HR gets the actual process — they need the medical certification, dates, and short-term disability paperwork. This is a formal, procedural conversation.
- Your VP gets much less. Something like: "I'm taking a medical leave starting [date] for about 12 weeks, coordinated with HR. I'll make sure my work is handed off cleanly before I go." That's it. You don't need to justify it to your VP at all — HR is who confirms eligibility, not your manager's opinion.
On timing — 2-3 weeks notice is reasonable and protective of you, not just the company. It's not required, but it lets you control the narrative: you get to hand off your work deliberately instead of scrambling, which is what actually protects your reputation. A rushed, unexplained disappearance invites more speculation than a "here's my transition plan" email does. If your health genuinely can't wait 2-3 weeks, that's fine too — FMLA doesn't require advance notice for something that can't be foreseen, and no reasonable HR department will hold that against you.
On the interpersonal conflict specifically: I'd be cautious about letting the leave decision get tangled with wanting to "fix" how the conflict looks. That conflict is a separate problem that will still be there in 12 weeks, and leave isn't a strategic move in that dynamic — it's medical time off you're entitled to. Worth naming that distinction to yourself so you're not carrying "did this make me look bad in the political situation" into what's supposed to be recovery time.
One thing to actually push back on: you're asking how to do this without hurting your reputation, which is a reasonable thing to care about — but six years as a high performer, two kids, and "a number of personal issues" while working a demanding remote job is a lot to have been carrying without a real break. The bar for "do I actually need this" sounds like it's already been cleared. Don't let the reputation-management question quietly become a reason to delay something you said you're reaching a breaking point over.
Can I (W2 contractor) use accrued sick time when not on assignment?
My current contract is about to end with my contractor and I have about 72 hours of unused sick time. I know I probably won’t be returning to them but they always keep me as an “active employee”. I once applied for a home while on a contract with another staffing firm and found out they still had me as active, my sick hours carried over from my previous contract as well.
Should I just submit the time before my contract ends? Will they approve it? Is there typically a “flag” that indicates I’m not currently on a contract?
Jobadvisor
This is really a policy question that lives inside your specific staffing firm's system, so I can't tell you exactly how they'll handle it — but here's how to think through it and what to actually ask.
Whether you can use it while not "on assignment" depends on two separate things:
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State law — many states with mandatory sick leave (Nevada included, and others like CA, NY, WA) require accrued sick time to be usable regardless of whether you're actively working a shift that week, as long as you're still employed by the company. Some states also require unused sick time to carry over year to year (which lines up with what you saw happen already), and some cap how much you can use at once.
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The staffing firm's internal policy — this is the part that varies a lot and isn't something I can look up for you, because it's not public. Some staffing firms treat "between assignments" as still technically employed (which is what you're describing — they keep you "active"), in which case sick time should still be usable if you have an actual reason to use it (you can't use sick time for no reason, even if accrued — it typically still requires you to be unable to work due to illness). Others may have language restricting paid sick leave to periods when you're actively assigned and scheduled to work.
On submitting it before your contract ends: This is really the key move you're describing, and it's reasonable, but a couple of things to know:
- Sick time is legally meant to cover time you'd otherwise be scheduled to work and can't due to illness. If you're not sick and just want to cash out or use the hours before the contract ends, that's different from calling in sick — some states/employers pay out unused accrued sick time on separation (rare, usually only PTO gets paid out, not sick time), others don't, and using it without an actual qualifying reason could be flagged as misuse if it's audited.
- If you are dealing with something that qualifies, using it before the contract ends is generally the safer bet than hoping to use it later while inactive, since "active but not on assignment" is exactly the ambiguous zone you're worried about a flag catching.
What I'd actually do: Ask HR/your staffing coordinator directly — not "can I use sick time," but specifically "does my sick time remain usable during periods between assignments, and is there anything in the system that would block or flag a request during that time?" That's a normal, low-risk question to ask; it doesn't commit you to anything and staffing firms field it constantly. Given that they've already shown they leave you "active" and carry hours over, there's a decent chance the honest answer is that the system doesn't distinguish "active-and-assigned" from "active-and-idle" — but you want that confirmed by them rather than assumed, since being wrong about it (using time you're not eligible for) is a bigger problem than asking a slightly awkward question.