Previous generations of tweens who babysat or stayed home alone as latchkey kids are now hiring childcare for their own children well into the middle-school years. The shift is expensive.
They grew up largely unsupervised after school. Now many Gen X parents treat regular childcare as a necessity not just for toddlers but for kids 10 and older. Late millennials and Gen Z children were more supervised as middle-schoolers than Gen X kids were, and Gen Alpha is following the same pattern, according to a Washington Post analysis of census data.
“It does feel strange to me that so many parents of kids 10 and older are using so much care,” said Lynn Perkins, CEO of the babysitter-finding site UrbanSitter. “We have data for 15 years, and it hasn’t changed, but I think it’s changed drastically since I was a middle-schooler. I was hired by families on our street to watch their kids, at an age when I probably now, today, would have had a babysitter myself.”
The change is not only about overparenting. Researchers point to fewer walkable neighborhoods and limited public transit, the rise of travel sports over neighborhood and school teams, and heightened concern about pediatric mental health. Some studies suggest a lack of independence can itself harm children’s mental health. At the same time, parents still need care for kids who have not yet learned to manage themselves, and children struggling with mental health often require more supervision.
With childcare costs rising faster than inflation and the babysitter role shifting from the teen next door toward adult professionals, the tween years are growing more expensive.
“One thing you can say is true about latchkey parenting is it’s very low-cost,” said psychologist and tween expert Lisa Damour. “If we as a culture are less inclined to be okay with latchkey children, there’s going to be a cost associated with keeping those kids busy.”
Childcare needs still decline as children age. A Post analysis of 2023–2025 Census data from the University of Minnesota’s IPUMS database found that more than a third of parents whose youngest child is between 1 and 3 pay for care, with a median annual cost above $9,000. The dollar amount drops with each additional year of age. Yet the need does not vanish: 15 percent of parents whose youngest is 10 and 11 percent of those whose youngest is 11 still pay for regular childcare, at a median of $3,000 a year — roughly three hours of babysitting a week, though many families concentrate the spending in summer.
The tween years remain a turbulent mix of dependence and emerging self-reliance, with readiness for less supervision arriving at different ages for different children.
At a girls’ basketball camp in Arlington, Virginia, 11-to-13-year-olds offered a range of experiences. Those who stay home alone or already babysit younger children spoke about it openly; those still being supervised were sometimes quieter on the subject.
Ellie Naumoff, 13, and her 15-year-old sister still have a nanny because they cannot yet drive themselves to soccer and other activities. The nanny also plays basketball and board games with her. “In a year, we won’t really need her,” Ellie said. “We’re just on the brink of needing a nanny. We just need someone to drive us.”
Kaia McFadden, 13, said she has not had a traditional babysitter since she was 10, then added that a nanny has been a constant presence, mainly for transportation to dance and basketball. Her parents sometimes hire a neighborhood college student as well. “It’s more for them, not for me,” she said. Like Ellie, she expects the arrangement to end once an older sibling can drive.
Sittercity data show median hourly rates hovered around $12.50 from 2018 to 2020 before climbing steadily; today the median is $22.50. Isabelle Plante, who runs the site, said many parents are piecing together coverage by ending their own workdays earlier rather than relying solely on full-time care. “They’re actually just piecing it together more,” she said. “They’re ending their workday to pick up their kids instead of getting a nanny to do that.”
Fewer teens are working as babysitters, which helps explain the higher rates: most sitters now are adults who can command professional pay.
Douglas Haddad, author of a book on the tween years and a middle-school teacher in Simsbury, Connecticut, for 26 years, has watched former students become parents of his current students. He sees families spending more on activities and care than previous generations did. “None of the parents want their kids to get behind in sports, get behind in academics,” he said. School teams and late buses still exist at little or no cost, yet many choose paid options they view as better or more convenient.
“One of the biggest differences today is the constant comparison culture. Social media allows parents to see what everyone else’s children are doing,” Haddad said. “Modern American life has really raised the expectation placed on parents.” He worries that reduced independence combined with heavy social-media exposure is affecting children’s mental health and problem-solving skills.
The campers themselves pushed back against adult characterizations of their generation. Sloane Richardson, 13, finds babysitting gigs on the Bambino app and charges $12.50 an hour. She has classmates who still have sitters and has heard them wonder, “Do my parents not trust me?”
Fiona Englehart, 13, has stayed home alone since she was 7 and overnight with an older cousin or sibling since she was 9. “My brother didn’t stay alone overnight until he was 13. Boys just aren’t as mature.”
Becca Pyser, 13, babysits at least three times a week for two neighborhood families, earning up to $25 an hour. Her 9-year-old brother still has a sitter, though she believes he would be fine alone for an hour or two.
Fiona grinned. “The kids are always fine with it. The parents are the ones that need to trust them.”