Since the pandemic started, I’ve been the household nomad. Depending on the distance learning and work meeting schedules of my two kids and husband, I can be found in the office, the kitchen, the garage, the patio, even the treehouse (not kidding). I review my schedule for the next day every night. I strategize about how to get through another 24 hours, which includes where I should set up work, based on a complicated formula of the meeting length, importance, my participation level, weather, and the likelihood of being interrupted by a potty accident from my senior dog or my kids wanting a kiss, a hug, lunch, or help with a virtual school.
As we all work and learn from home, I’ve reluctantly and inescapably become the lunch lady, school nurse, IT technician, janitor, counselor, and teacher, on top of being a mom and full-time tech employee.
As many can relate, it has simply been exhausting.
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As the holidays arrived at the end of 2020, I was finally able to take a much-needed break to unplug. During that time, though, I was contacted for a job at a promising startup. After I made it clear that the timing wasn’t right, the recruiter asked my career plan for the next five years — what I would want to be doing at that point in my life, ideally. I gave him a safe answer, but if I had told the pure truth, I would have said, “I am so tired that I cannot think five years from now, let alone a year, or even a week. All I can dream of is for this hamster wheel to stop. Something’s gotta give before I spin out of control.”
But for now, the hamster wheel of working in tech goes on and on and on, faster than ever. Regardless of how exhausted I am, I know how truly privileged and blessed I am to have a good job I can do from the safety of my home. The pandemic has closed down businesses, reduced funding for startups, and at the same time increased competition for open positions now that the talent can come from practically anywhere, not just the Bay Area. I realize how lucky I am to have the security I do.
But knowing that also adds to the pressure. While the tech industry is always full of competition, it feels more so now than in recent memory. Many of us, myself included, are being harder on ourselves when we should be going easier and challenging ourselves to be more productive than ever.
Just the other day, a well-known VC issued a challenge to his portfolio companies: Think outside the box as startups are supposed to — starting with hiring executives from anywhere in the United States! I imagined the suddenly increased supply of talent clamoring for the high-paying tech jobs in the Bay Area, previously beyond reach but now made possible with remote work.
Sensing how supply is outstripping the demand, every connection I know in the tech workspace, however, qualified is suited up for battle every day to deliver the highest performance, no matter how very exhausted we all are underneath the surface.
The day-to-day is no less demanding now. With in-person meetings, coffee chats, hallway conversations, and team off-sites no longer an option, the tech workplace quickly invented various virtual ways to both replace and upgrade old ways of meeting. Staying true to their innovative spirit, employees have pulled out all the stops to come up with the most creative form of team meetings: costume parties, Kahoot games, group painting and cooking classes, meditation, and cocktail hours. Smile, you are on camera. If you don’t want to talk, make sure you participate instead by putting fun emojis or witty remarks in the chatbox.
The message: Be present, in whatever way possible, all the time.
As the hamster wheel continues spinning, I try to remind myself from time to time to change perspectives and appreciate the silver linings—namely the elimination of my commute and more time with family. I can easily recall frustrating times prior to the pandemic when I was behind the wheel, stuck in impossible Bay Area traffic, simply unable to make it to that important meeting or home to my family on time. In those moments, I dreamed of the ability to teleport, which, in a way, we’ve received with videoconferencing. No longer do I need to waste my life snailing through traffic or flying hours far away to attend a meeting that will last a mere fraction of the flight time.
Armed with this intermittent optimism, I continue to grit my teeth and tell myself to “fake it until I make it” until the light at the end of the tunnel.
Keep on smiling. Keep on spinning. On the nonstop hamster wheel, I go.
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