What Keeps You Up at Night?

So this week, for the first time, I am beginning a journey with a personal coach that is helping me figure out what is next for me. A reset of sorts. I have been wanting to do this forever and I finally I found the right person at the right moment and it is happening. My first call with her is Tuesday.
I am answering a lot of questions, taking a lot of assessments, and will be posting my way through it. To get it started she sent me a questionnaire that had this question on it - What keeps you up at night? This is as good of a place as any to start.
Many, many things presented in to particular order. Minor and major to dos. Unresolved relationship conflict. That I am not living in to being the best person I can. That I may not be doing all I can to help raise my kids to be good people. Whether I truly am a good wife to my husband. That I am not as thin, fit, healthy, pretty, nice, kind, inclusive, respectful, generous…….. as I “should” and “could” be. That I need to not think in terms of “shoulds’ and “coulds”. That I have hundreds of emails that I have not responded to in a thoughtful way. That one-day my dogs will die. That one-day my loved ones will die. That our planet is dying. That the world is generally speaking a friggin mess. That so many of our “leaders” are not acting like it. That are not enough women in leadership positions and perhaps never will be in my lifetime. That I have a stack of books at my bedside that I have not read yet. That my best friends are way better best friends to me than I am to them. That people who belong in this country live in fear of getting kicked out at any moment. Guns. Guns in the hands of mentally ill people that then walk in to schools, and churches, and concerts. Why some people are so much more blessed than others? That things/organizations/people that I have given so much of my time, talent and treasure to will not reach their potential. Or fail. That I have not yet been to China, to India, to Israel, to South America…. That I too often think or act like I know more than I actually do know. What really are my priorities? Am I living them? That I am an imposter. That I did not deserve to make partner at Goldman Sachs. That so many other people who made it did not either, and so many that did, didn't. Money. Having it. Not having it. Whether I am honoring my commitments as a board/advisory board member. That I am more powerful than I think I am by a factor of 10. Who will get my collection of Wonder Woman memorabilia one day and whether they will love it as much as I do? Whether the second Wonder Woman movie will be as good as the first one. … Bottom line. I don’t sleep well.
I wish she also asked what helps me sleep at night? But that was not on the questionnaire.
What keeps YOU up at night? Feel free to share.
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